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|LIl]RAliY OF CONGRESS. 

Jl'NITRD STATES OP AMKRIl'A. 




r7 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

7 



"Except a corn of wheat f:dl into the ground aii.l die, 
It abideth alono; but if it die, it briugeth forth much 
fruit." — John lii. 24. 



Ih 



BOSTON: 

MASSACHUSETTS SABBATH SCITOOL SOCIETY, 

Depositokv Xo. 13 Cornhill. 



E5I3 



Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 18G2, by 

The Massachusetts Sabbath School Society, 

in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the District <rf 

Massachusetts. 



RIVERSIDE, CAMBRIDGE: 
STEREOTYPED AND PRINTED BY H. 0. HOXJeHTON. 



TO THE 

C? a 1 1 a n t a n ^ K o i) I e €: o nnn a n ti e r , 
Col. Wm. S. CLAEK: 

TO THE RESOLUTE AND PATRIOTIC OFFICERS AND PRIVATES 
OF THE 21ST REGIMENT OF MASS. VOLUNTEERS; 
TO THE BRAVE CITIZEN AND REGULAR SOL- 
DIERS OF THE GREAT ARMY OF THE 
UNITED STATES; AND TO ALL YOUNG 
MEN OF LOFTY AIMS AND EN- 
DEAVORS EVERYWHERE; THIS 
BRIEF MEMORIAL OF A 
YOUNG OFFICER IS 
RESPECTFULLY 
INSCRIBED, 

BY ins FATHER. 



ADJUTANT STEAKNS. 



When a young man of promise has sud- 
denly fallen in tlie presence of the nation 
and in defence of its liberties, and all hopes 
of his future usefulness, in ordinary ways, 
have been destroyed ; if there was anything 
in his character and life or in the circum- 
stances of his death which, if known, might 
be of benefit to the world, that sensitiveness 
of friendship could hardly be justified which 
should withhold from youno; men of his own 
age, and es})ecially from his fellow-soldiers, 
some fitting memorial of him. Here is the 
reason, if any apology is needed, why the 
following biographical notices of Adjutant 
Stearns are submitted to the public. It 



b ADJUTANT STEARXS. 

might be thought they woiikl come witli 
better grace from some one whose intimacy 
of relationship might not be suspected of 
giving too high a coloring to the narrative. 
But if proper allowance is made for paren- 
tal partiality and tenderness, perhaps, in the 
case of one so early called away, no person 
could give a better impression of his real 
life and motives than his father. 

Frazar Augustus Stearns, who fell in 
the battle of Newbern, March 14th 1862, 
was born in Cambridge, Mass., on the '21st 
day of June, 1840, and was twenty-one 
years and about eight months old when he 
died. 

He was carried to the house of God, on 
the afternoon of the Sabbath, Auirust 1st, 
of the same year, and, unconscious himself 
of the great transaction, was solemnly bap- 
tized into the nama of the Father and of 
the Son and of the Holy Ghost. Parents 
often enter into engagements for their chil- 
dren with men, why should they not with 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 7 

God? Many Christians take great delight 
in such consecrations. They lay their child, 
in the opening of his immortal being, upon 
the arms of eternal love, and ever after, 
pleading the Covenant for him, when the 
dark days of his history come, they look 
upon his baptism as the bow of promise 
which spans the cloud. 

Of the christian names given him on that 
occasion, Frazar was the maiden name of 
his mother, Rebecca Alden Frazar, daugh- 
ter of Samuel Alden Frazar, Esq., of Dux- 
bury, Mass. 

Frazar, the subject of this notice, was a 
descendant of " the Pilgrims." Among his 
ancestors were Governor Thomas Dudley, 
and Captain Edward Johnson, the author of 
that quaint old history entitled " The Won- 
der-workino; Providence of Zion's Saviour 
in New England." Of the blood of the 
young Plymouth pilgrim, John Alden, 
three currents flowed in his veins. 

While a child, Frazar gave indications 



8 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

of some of those traits of cliaracter which 
were conspicuous in his after life. He was 
uncommonly truthful, conscientious, and hioh 
minded. Though of a sensitive and impul- 
sive nature, with quick, strong passions, he 
was filial and affectionate in disposition, 
kind and amiable among his associates, and 
generally magnanimous in his treatment of 
them. 

When a small boy, under the influence 
of parental teaching and the unconscious 
education of a Christian home, he became 
the subject of deep religious experiences. 
After much reflection for one so young, he 
made up his mind, not only to trust in 
Christ as his Saviour, but to serve him 
henceforth with entireness of heart. With 
characteristic earnestness and decision, he 
repeatedly signified to his parents his de- 
sire to confess Christ before men. On ac- 
count of his extreme youth, he was kept 
back for a time; but as his purposes seemed 
fixed, and his conduct not more inconsist- 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 9 

ent than that of the majority of older pro- 
fessors, it was thought that the risk of 
denying him longer, would be greater than 
that of complying with his request. After 
careful instruction, he was accordingly, on 
the first Sabbath of September, 1852, ad- 
mitted to the full fellowship of the Church, 
in which he had been baptized in infancy. 
It was an impressive scene and drew tears 
from many eyes, when that small boy — no 
older than his Saviour was when he heard 
the doctors in the Temple and asked them 
questions, — stood up with a few older per- 
sons, in the presence of a large congrega- 
tion, and entered into covenant with God 
and the Church. 

The independence of the child, whose 
modesty and natural reserve no one would 
call in question, seemed the more remark- 
able, as his older brother and sister, though 
not unthoughtful, had never at that time 
felt prepared to own in public the God of 
their fathers. His feelings on the subject 



10 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

appear, in part, from a little note which 
he handed to his sister some weeks before 
he joined the Church, and which happens 
to have been preserved. The grammar will 
be excused as he was then only twelve years 
of ao:e. 
" Dear E. : — 

" Father told me, some time ago, that he 
supposed you was without any good hope 
in Christ ; and I write to you that I may 
if possible help you. Do give your heart 
to God, if you have not already ; read your 
Bible much, and pray for a new heart, and 
ask ' Him who rules all things ' to create 
in you a right spirit. If you felt you 
wanted advice, I advise you to go to fa- 
ther ; for I have, and he has done me a 
great deal of good. He says he wants 
Willie and you and myself, when I join, 
to join the Church together; and he has 
been waiting for that time to come. Re- 
member me in your prayers, and I shall 
remain your aftectionate brother, 

" F. A. S." 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 11 

The expediency of admitting persons so 
young into tlie full fellowship of the Church 
must be judged of by circumstances. It 
can be done safely only after much in- 
struction and much pmyer. The danger is 
that they may not understand themselves, 
or may not have that " faith," as well as 
knowledge, which is necessary " to discern 
the Lord's body," or may become the oc- 
casion of scandal, by those youthful incon- 
sistencies which will be likely sooner or 
later to appear. But our Saviour gives a 
caution also, in the other direction : " Take 
heed that ye despise not one of these little 
ones." "And whoso shall receive one such 
child in my name receive th me." Doubt- 
less the lambs are safest in the fold, if only 
lambs they are, and you can depend on 
the discretion and fidelity of the shepherds 
who have the immediate guardianship of 
them. 

His early education was derived chiefly 
from the common schools and the High 



12 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

School of Cambridge, to which, in some 
respects, no schools in the world were prob- 
ably superior. The zeal of some of his 
teachers, in imparting to him the first ru- 
diments of knowledge, especially in ele- 
mentary arithmetic, when he was not more 
than six or seven years okl, and which in- 
spired him with a taste for mathematics, and 
laid the foundation of his after success in 
the study of them, will always be remem- 
bered by his friends, as it was by himself, 
with gratitude. In these schools, his pro- 
ficiency gave satisfaction, and he left them, 
after having completed their courses, in 
August, 1854. 

In the. early winter of that year, Frazar 
removed with his parents to Amherst, Mas- 
sachusetts. Not long after this event, sep- 
arated from his old companions and some 
of the relifTious influences which had been 

o 

around him, though his conduct as a Chris- 
tian had not seemed particularly defective, 
he became for a short season the subject 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 13 

of religious depression. The following note 
will explain his feelings. He was now in 
his fifteenth year. 
"Dear Father, — 

" I cannot live any longer in such a con- 
dition. I must do something — I know not 
what. O what would not I give, if I only 
had a Christian's hope ! but I am afraid all 
is lost. I have strayed and wandered far 
from God, and I fear. IIow can I be saved 
after what I have done ? I have solemnly 
avouched the Lord to be my God. I have 
covenanted in the presence of many wit- 
nesses to live no longer for the world, but 
for Christ above ; and how have I fulfilled 
that vow ? What have I lived for ? I have 
given up to the enjoyment of this world, and 
to its temptations. I have made, at times, 
resolutions ; but these have been broken ; and 
last of all I have been a disgrace to the 
Church and to Christ. How then can I be 
saved ? Could I but have a hope in Christ, 
I would devote myself forever to his ser\ace ; 



14 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

but I am afraid all is lost. Do tell me wliat 

I must do ? Pray for me, and ask God to 

grant me a hope in him. 

" Your affectionate son, 

" Frazar." 

On conversing with him, it appeared that 
while he had not wholly neglected religious 
duties, he had become remiss in them, had 
failed " to be watchful," had not lived in his 
religion, had given away in some instances 
to temptation, and was wholly dissatisfied 
with himself. Of such a state of mind, the 
Christian, who has often felt himself like 
Paul to be the chief of sinners, needs no 
explanation. But if any read these lines 
who are ignorant of the Christian's hidden 
life, let them understand. It is not the ex- 
perience of Christians that the soul leaps, at 
once, to its highest sanctification ; " the old 
man," especially in the child, must have its 
development as well as " the new man," and 
these will be repeated, and perhaps severe 
conflicts between them, and alternations of 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 15 

success, till " the new man " gets the final 
victory and " he that overcometh inherits 
all things." It was only after he had been 
through the Slough of Despond, and held fast 
in Doubting Castle, and suffered the oppres- 
sions of Giant Despair, that Bunyan's Pil- 
grim reached '' the land of Beulah, where the 
air is sweet, and where the sun shineth night 
and day." So " the peace of God, which 
passeth all understanding," is rarely enjoyed 
as a permanent state by any Christian till he 
has passed through many inward conflicts 
and perhaps discomfitures. 

About midsummer of this year, 1855, an 
event occurred than which hardly anything 
could have distressed him more deeply. It 
was the death of his mother. A woman of 
a strong mind and a large and loving heart, 
lier influence over her children, and espe- 
cially over Frazar, who inherited her quick 
sensibilities, was of course very great. As 
he loved her exceedingly, her long sickness 
and uncommon sufferings, though submis- 



16 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

sively borne, were a constant source of de- 
pression to him. And when she gave him 
her parting counsels and a mother's last kiss, 
and he saw her dying, though with the peace 
of God in her soul, it was almost more than 
his young spirit could endure. For a long 
time afterward the sadness of his desolated 
home oppressed him. 

The next spring, he was sent to Pliillips' 
Academy, in Andover, to prepare for col- 
lecre. His desires for a more extended edu- 
cation than he had yet obtained had become 
strong, indeed, at times, intense. The fol- 
lowincr notes reveal his feelino;s on the sub- 
ject, and give some glimpses of the intensity 
of his character. 
"Dear Father, — 

" I want to make a request of you, and I 
do it in writing because I can better tell you 
all the whys and wherefores. 

" In regard to my studying, I feel as I 
never have before ; something within me 
says, Act; and as Sheridan said, 'It is in 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 17 

me and must come out.' I feel more and 
more, every day, the truth of the saying, 
' Knowledge is power.' I am determined 
yet to make ' something or nothing : ' that 
is my motto, and, father, you shall yet hear 
from me in other ways than as your son. 

" Tiie other night you asked me how I 
should like to go to Andover. I jumped at 
the thought, my heart leapt within me. I 
resolved soon to let you know. It is not a 
thing I have hastily thought of; but I have 
thought it over and over and over again. 
For more than a month before, I had thought 
of it and turned it over in my mind. I have 
weighed it in every scale, and have long since 
come to the determination, if 3^ou will send 
me to Andover two years, to go to college." 

Speaking of some difficulties in the way, 
and how he had planned to overcome them, 
he continues : 

" Havn't other folks done so ? and can't 
I do the same? I will do the same, can't or 
no can't. It ivill be done, it shall be done. 



18 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

Where there's a will, there's a way. I have 
the will ; the way will follow." 

A little time after, he writes : 
"Dear Father, — 

" I canH study here. I can't do it. You 
don't know how much I have tried, but it is 
no go ; do let me go to Andover, and you 
will be thanked by me. Here I have all the 
interruptions you can imagine. Oh, father, 
father, my heart aches and is weary. Per- 
haps I have kept a merry face, — a merrier 
face than any of the rest ; but I have often 
done so when within all was loneliness and 
sadness. I did not like to let you know that 
I was discontented or unhappy, but I am 
sick at heart, my heart gnaws after knowl- 
edge, and I must have it ; but I can't get it 
here, at home. I must go to Andover. I 
must have knowledge ; and if you wish to 
make me happy, send me." 

His cours^. at Andover, though pleasant 



ADJUTANT STEAENS. 19 

to himself and profitable, was short. On 
account of over-exertion, with some other 
students of the Academy, in an effort, un- 
der a fever of young patriotism, to procure 
from the woods and erect a liberty pole — 
followed by a rapid walk to Boston to at- 
tend the celebrations of the Fourth of July 

and of a cold which supervened — his 

health was so much impaired that, at the 
end of three months after he left home, he 
was obliged to suspend his studies and re- 
turn to Amherst. 

After several interruptions in his studies 
at home, he so far completed his prepara- 
tory course as to be admitted into Amherst 
College as a member of the Freshman class, 
in August, 1857, at the age of seventeen. 

From the time he united with the Church 
in Cambridge, in 1852, till lie entered col- 
leo-e, his moral and religious life was marked 
with but few noteworthy indications. Not- 
withstanding some afflictions, he seemed 
generally happy. He entered with great 



20 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

avidity into youthful sports, without being 
addicted to the vices which are often con- 
nected with them. While he was sensitive 
and proud-spirited, and could not brook an 
insult, his fiHal and affectionate nature could 
be appealed to with success, and the law of 
parental control was never resisted. Every- 
/ 'thing low and mean was his abhorrence, and, 
even from his earhest boyhood, he always 
expressed the utmost indignation at vulgar- 
ity and profaneness. 

As, owing to special circumstances, he 
had entered college after preparations too 
hastily and imperfectly made, he did not 
reach his ideal, in the craSsics, during the 
Freshman year. " Indeed," says Professor 
Tyler, from whose address at the funeral I 
am allowed to quote, " his taste was rather 
for the mathematical and physical sciences 
and their practical applications. He began 
early to collect minerals, and under the per- 
sonal influence and friendsliip of the accom- 
plished Professor in that department, he not 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 21 

only studied tliem scientifically, but admired 
these exquisite productions of Nature's handi- 
work as an amateur. He was particularly 
fond of chemistry, and it was in the labora- 
tory that he first formed that attachment 
for the Professor, afterwards his Major and 
Colonel, which grew with every subsequent 
year, and ended only in that gallant charge 
which cost one of them his life and the 
other a pang little short of that which 
separates soul from body." 

In the winter and spring of 1858,^ during 
that remarkable revival of religion which 
followed the great financial crash of 1857, 
when the whole country was roused to re- 
flection, and as the result of which more 
than ninety-six thousand hopeful conver- 
sions to Christ were enumerated, Am- 
herst, in common with other colleges, and 
Frazar, in common with his fellow-students, 
was deeply moved. In the early part of 
that season, he not only seemed to partici- 
pate personally in the religious quickening, 



22 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

but to take the deepest interest in its in- 
fluence ui)on others. As the work went 
forward and lie was led to examine more 
searchingly the foundations of his own hope 
in Christ, he began to doubt whether he 
had really experienced that great change 
which the New Testament speaks of as a 
new birth, a new creation, a resurrection 
from ^the dead. The suspicion that he 
might have deceived himself, and have 
been living in a delusion, excited and 
grieved him, and awakened in him some 
terrible doubts respecting the genuineness 
of revivals and even of Christianity itself. 
This state of mind was not a little afforra- 
vated by the influence of one or two some- 
what talented but sceptically inclined asso- 
ciates, who had learned enough of panthe- 
istic speculation to complicate themselves in 
its meshes, but not enough to detect its 
sophistries or turn back again to the old 
foundations of Christian peace. His scep- 
tical questionings were not, however, wel- 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 23 

corned and rejoiced in, as they often are by 
irreligious men ; but they took the form 
of fear approaching desperation, not unat- 
tended by rebelHon of spirit, lest he might 
be disappointed in all that he had hoped 
and believed. His relimous life was like a 
harp not broken and destroyed, but un- 
strunor and discordant. All the dangers 
of " drawing back unto perdition " which 
the Apostle foresaw when he said, " Cast 
not away therefore your confidence," now 
threatened him. Nor was it till sometime 
afterward, when he had been taught by ex- 
perience " that there is small chance of 
truth at the goal, when there is not child- 
like humility at the starting-post," that he 
was enabled to escape the regions of unrest 
and plant his feet on the firm earth again. 
All this, however strange it may seem to 
the mere worldling, will be understood by 
the Christian who has learned in the school 
of a divine discipline that the crown of 
thorns precedes the crown of glory. 



24 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

Towards the close of his first year in col- 
lege, he was visited with a grief which, 
though for the most part hidden in his 
heart, made an ineffaceable impression up- 
on it. It was the death of a young friend 
with whom he had been as intimate from 
his early childhood as a brother with a sister. 
Beautiful and interesting, — an only child, 
— consumption had marked her for a victim. 
She died at the age of eio;hteen in sweet sub- 
mission to the Divine will, peacefully trust- 
ino; in Jesus, and lookino; forward with confi- 
dence and joy to the heavenly rest. Though 
she had never been to him, perhaps, much 
more than as a sister, when she was gone 
and her society could not be had, a sense of 
bereavement came over him, and the nio;ht- 
shades often afterwards hung upon his spirit ; 
and when the fii^t days of mourning were 
over, like Dante's Beatrice, she became a 
sort of pure angelic presence to him, strength- 
ening his faith and hallowing his life. 

An event occurred early in his Sophomore 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 25 

year which was neither particularly credit- 
able to himself nor to other parties con- 
cerned in it, though it grew out of honor- 
able feelings and a hio;h-minded intention. 
He had always expressed the greatest con- 
tempt for that petty tyranny which is so 
often practised by Sophomores upon Fresh- 
men. Most of his classmates, actuated by 
the same spirit, with more magnanimity of 
intention than wisdom in the manner of ex- 
ecution, had undertaken with him to break 
down the prestige of this old custom of bar- 
barism. In carrying out their plans, as 
might have been anticipated, they came into 
collision with the class above them. " A 
point of honor " was in question ; and on 
this the college spirit effervesced. Many 
of both classes were, for a time, not only 
strangely excited, but greatly imperilled. 
One of the wildest storms ever known in 
Amherst College was raging, when a col- 
lege officer appeared on the ground and 
secured a calm. 



26 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

Sometime afterwards, for his heroism in 
defending what they considered " their hon- 
or," on this occasion, at the hazard of his 
life, his classmates proposed to present him 
an elegantly mounted revolver ; but he de- 
clined the perilous gift. They gave him a 
beautiful writing-desk, which he gratefully, 
but reluctantly acce])ted. He never, how- 
ever, looked upon it with entire complacency, 
as it reminded him of a scene which he was 
only too willing to forget. He used to say 
that " he should thank God to the latest day 
of his life '' that in the great excitement of 
that hour " he was withheld from committing 
any act of violence." 

About the middle of the first term of the 
Sophomore year, he was attacked by one of 
those long and dangerous typhoid fevers 
which, when not fatal, often seem to wreck 
both body and mind. In one of its crises, 
the physician, though he expressed himself 
hopefully, was constrained to say that he 
ehould not be surprised if he were entirely 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 27 

prostrstted before noon, and dead before night. 
Those who know the hearts of Christians will 
not wonder that enough of his dano;erous 
condition should have been intimated to 
him, to open the way for free conversation 
as to his hopes of the future. Nor will they 
think it strano-e that such hearts should be 
filled wdth gratitude to God when they found 
him then in full possession of his reason, 
calm, sustained by a firm trust in Christ, and 
something like "an assurance of hope." The 
way thus opened, select passages of Scrip- 
ture and hymns which contain tlie essence 
of the Gospel, in its simplest form, such as, 

" Just as I am, without one plea," 
were read to him ; prayers also w^ere offered 
occasionally with him, and conversations fol- 
lowed, which not only gave much consola- 
tion to anxious hearts of love, but seemed to 
inspire him with fresh courage and peace. 
It is pleasant to remember that amidst the 
mental wanderings of that long sickness, the 
unconscious revelations which he then made 



28 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

of his character, were all elevated and beau- 
tiful. He was forming patriotic plans for 
the pacification of the country, and the re- 
moval of the evils which even then seemed 
impending ; he was engaged in important 
mechanical inventions ; he was composing 
music ; he was discovering splendid miner- 
als ; he was making vast sums of money, not 
so much for himself as for richly endowing 
and furnishing the college and making pres- 
ents to his friends. At one time, he thought 
that he had delivered an address which was 
received with approval. " Father," he said, 
" how did you like it ? " Being answered 
somewhat evasively, but in the line of his 
own fancies, he responded, " I always 
thought I should do something to please 
you." 

On religious subjects, he was trustful and 
submissive. " What are those words,'* said 
he to his sister, durinor the sufferino;s of a 
very sick night ; " They shall hunger no 
more, nor thirst ; what are they ? " The 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 29 

passage was repeated to him. " They^shall 
hunger no more, neither thirst any more ; 
neither shall the sun light on them, nor any 
heat. For the Lamb which is in the midst 
of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead 
them unto living fountains of waters : and 
God shall wipe away all tears from their 
eyes." " Beautiful, beautiful," said he in 
a voice sweetly subdued, " I almost wish I 
was there." 

This protracted sickness not only pros- 
trated his physical nature, but after a while 
enfeebled his mind. He became in some re- 
spects almost a child again, and could best 
be entertained with hearino; the books which 
he had read in his childhood, and in listen- 
ing to childish tales which had long since 
ceased to interest him. 

At this point the pen stops, and the writer 
asks himself, with surprise at the exhibitions 
he has given, — Was this opening life, which 
had seemed generally so joyous, the subject 
of uncommon trials ? And the answer must 



30 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

be, that while there was much youthful hap- 
piness in it, there was also the discipline of 
much sorrow. It was a mixed scene, — 
great gorgeous clouds, black and golden. 

Nor was this lot, though hard, to be de- 
precated. Suffering, when not too mighty 
for us, is educational. Great characters are 
rarely formed without it ; great Christian 
attainment is usually conditioned upon it. 
Though a happy young life may seem most 
pleasant to us, difficulty and affliction are 
doubtless its best teachers. We admire the 
wheat in its greenness, still more when its 
heads bend together with ripened grain ; but 
it must be cut and threshed and ground 
and bolted before it is fitted for its highest 
use. 

After he was supposed to have recov- 
ered from this sickness, in the words of 
Professor Tyler's address, " he attempted 
to resume his studies ; but he could not 
command his faculties. For once and for 
a season, his will was baffled, and that in 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 31 

the realm of his own mind. He returned 
to his favorite pursuits in the laboratory 
and the mineral kingdom ; but these did 
not satisfy; he must have a complete col- 
lege education. He took to horticulture ; 
and succeeded admirably in raising vegeta- 
bles, but not in restoring his health." 

After several eflPorts at study, as a last 
experiment, Professor Henshaw of Rutger's 
College, then at By field, Mass., was in- 
duced to undertake to aid him in reviving^ 
his lost knowledge and preparing him to 
reenter college. Though several months 
had now passed since he began to call him- 
self well, he was really unfit for study. 
His mind was often in a whirl of confu- 
sion. His plans of life were unsettled, and 
his religion, just now, did not sustain him. 

Indeed, while at By field, he went through 
another of those terrible experiences which 
had so strongly shaken him in 1858. Much 
may be attributed to imperfect health, but 
much more to the workings of an earnest 



32 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

religious nature, in the earlier conflicts 
of its sanctification. God ploughs deep fur- 
rows, when he would produce great sheaves. 
Had he been older and known more of 
Christian experience, he might have con- 
demned liimself less bitterly for unwelcome 
doubts, and have waited more calmly, in 
the way of obedience and prayer, for light. 
His state of mind was thus expressed : 
"You say," he writes, "I have no better 
friend on earth than my fiither. If I 
thought otherwise I would not tell you 
what I am going to now. I am very 
unhappy, and have been for some time. 
Those old doubts have been coming up in 
my mind, and until they are solved I shall 
be unhappy. You tell me to ' rejoice ever- 
more,' and ' pray without ceasing.' I can 
do neither, for I seem to believe nothing. 
O ! the misery, — the agony I endure you 
cannot imagine ; and sometimes I wish I 
had died when I thought I believed, rather 
than live to become (as I fear I shall) an 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 33 

infidel. I would like to believe if I could. 
I know some will call me fickle, change- 
able, and ridicule me ; but I am coming 
home to you like the prodigal son, and 
hope that you, at least, will not reproach 
me. Meanwhile, ask the Saviour you be- 
lieve in, if he be true, to convince me.'* 

Professor Henshaw writes concernins him, 
" Ilis mind, I should think, is in a very 
nervous, excitable condition. I have had 
several conversations with him on his re- 
ligious state, and find him troubling him- 
self with doubts regarding the truth of 
Christianity and the reality of Christian ex- 
perience. Perhaps his troubles are mainly 
owing to his sickness, his depressed feel- 
ings, and the absence of his former lively 
joy in Christ. I think, however, he has 
been affected somewhat by the freely ex- 
pressed doubts of some of his associates in 
college and other places. I think he is hon- 
est in his doubts, and I have striven to aid 
him in resolvino; them. He seems to be now 



34 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

taking the right direction, but is in a very 
dangerous state of mind. I can but hope 
the result will be a deeper experience, a 
more thorouo-h knowlediie of himself and of 
the de(;eptiveness of the heart, and higher 
Christian faith and joy. He has evidently 
had seasons of deep depression, increased 
by his lonely situation hene ; and I should 
not be surprised if he had manifested a 
good deal of the hero in his struggles 
against them." 

This state of mind could not lonor con- 
tinue. The letter to his father marked a 
crisis in his feelings. He had hardly ex- 
pressed them when he began to find relief. 
And though he did not immediately reach 
the firmest rock of faith, he ceased to sink 
in the slough of unbelief. 

His second letter, written but a few days 
after the first, reveals the point of transi- 
tion from conflict and trouble to the be- 
ginnings of peace. 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 35 

"Dear Father, — 

" Ere this you will doubtless have re- 
ceived a letter from me written while I 
was in a most intense agony. I say ag- 
ony, for until a person feels that he has 
nothing to live for, that he has no God, no 
religion, he does not know what agony is. 
This you will readily see has been my 
trouble — has caused these fluctuations — has 
made me discontented and unhappy. But 
it was more than I could bear, or any one, 
for any length of time. I thought once 
that I was going crazy. I truly thought 
so. What I could do I did not know; for 
I liad nothing to live for, and wished only 
that I might die. I began to grow scepti- 
cal as I grew better from my sickness, until 
at last I seemed to believe nothing of the 
Bible, except that a God exists. I began 
to investigate the matter, and finally came 
to the conclusion that although I mio-ht be 
rejected, although I might be cast off, yet 
while life sJiould last I would in future do all 



36 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

in my power to advance Christ's kingdom. 
I found tliat I never should be liappy 
as long as I disbelieved the Gospel ; and 
may God forgive me for doing as I have 
done I Why, I have been in a perfect liell 
for hours at a time, when, as I say, I be- 
gan to think I should go mad. I do not 
think I shall ever be troubled so ao-ain, for 
in future, I am resolved to carry all my 
doubts to the Lord. I will studv as hard 
as I can, and at the same time keep in 
good health. 

" This I am resolved upon, — that if 
prayers to God, and effort to do the will of 
God, are powerful with Ilim, they shall no 
more be neglected by me ; and although 
there are many things which I can't ex- 
plain even now, I can say, * Lord, I be- 
lieve, help thou mine unbelief You, I 
feel assured, will pray for me ; pray es- 
pecially that God will give me strength 
and grace to overcome temptation, — that 
He will give me love to Him, and a desire 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 37 

and willingness to do his commands. I 
can't say that I feel full of religious faith 
and hope ; but a strong, earnest purpose to 
do the will of God, I do feel. 1 had rather 
liave the smallest hope I ever had that I 
was a Christian, than to live my life over 
again for a month past. 

" Can you wonder I was unable to de- 
cide upon anything? How could I? — for 
I had no God to go to. And may He be 
merciful to me as I need mercy ! Please 
write me when you find it convenient, and 
remember me in your prayers." 

It had been made evident by repeated 
experiments that successful study could not 
be realized in him without some radical 
revolution of his physical system. Accord- 
ingly a sea voyage was planned for him to 
Bombay, in which city his elder brother 
had previously established himself in busi- 
ness. Frazar entered into this arrange- 
ment with great delight. He sailed from 
Boston, in The Sabine, Captain Hendee, on 



38 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

the 15tli of October, 1859, just one year 
after his attack of fever, and landed in 
Bombay, March 6th, I860,, having been 
out 144 days, or nearly five months. This 
long voyage did for him more than the 
most sanguine of his friends had dared to 
hope. It completely renovated his con- 
stitution, and established his health. It 
restored and strengthened his intellectual 
powers, and almost new-created his moral 
and spiritual being. It was not a voyage 
of idleness. Though he had shipped as a 
cabin passenger, he preferred to participate 
in the work of the vessel ; and no man on 
board, the captain said, worked harder. 
He studied the vessel in all its parts and 
powers. He made himself master of all 
the routine duties of the sailor. He stud- 
ied navigation, and learned as an officer to 
work the ship. He kept a nautical jour- 
nal with scientific accuracy and fullness. 
Partly to perfect his knowledge of the ship 
and partly for the exercise of his median- 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 39 

ical talents, in this and on the return voy- 
age, he constructed a model vessel, which 
he afterward bequeathed to his father as a 
keepsake, and which is a beautiful memo- 
rial of industry, ingenuity, and filial affec- 
tion. 

But the spiritual advantages of the voy- 
age were far greater than all the others. 
He liad time for reflection, he had time 
for the study of the sacred Scriptures, he 
had time for prayer, and under the Divine 
teaching his mind worked itself clear of 
those old terrific doubts, and his heart 
opened itself to the full sunshine of God's 
love. Out in the solemn solitudes of the 
ocean, where he could often be alone with 
the great deep, and the clouds, and the 
blue expanse, and the starry night, and 
the storms, and the Maker of them all, he 
consecrated himself anew to Christ, and 
learned that " believing was simply trust- 
incr." The 2;reat battle with unbelief was 
fought out, — the enemy in his heart had 



40 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

been effectually routed. He moved ever 
afterward, in the spiritual realm of his be- 
ing, comparatively speaking, as a conqueror. 
Not that the Christian warfare had ended, 
for that ends rarely except with life ; but 
the hostile forces gained no more import- 
ant victories, and could not longer greatly 
disturb his peace. 

In mid-ocean, he writes to his sister, 
January 4th, 1860. 

" Let us both look forward to the time 
when you and I shall meet again, not 
merely as brother and sister, but as fellow- 
laborers in Christ. I might have been far 
different from what I hope I am, if you 
had treated me differently. Thanks be to 
God, I hope and believe that here amid 
the endless strife and wild confusion of the 
ocean. He has opened my eyes. And my 
daily prayer is, to be made more sensible 
of my utter sinfulness and my entire de- 
pendence on Hiyn. 

" I do not know whither the Lord is di- 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 41 

reeling me. But wherever He says, I will 
go, with His grace to help me." 

After reaching Bombay, he writes again : 

"As for riiyself, I hope I have found the 
way to eternal life. As yet it seems faint, 
and the light but very feeble ; but I do 
not deserve any more, and am thankful for 
only a little. I have been searching for a 
long time for what is the easiest thing in 
the world to find, and I hope to come all 
right and grow in grace." 

His brother and sister in Bombay were 
greatly surprised by his altered appearance. 
His robust, sound health, his spirit and cour- 
age, his manly bearing, his elevated views, 
and most of all his unpretending but earn- 
est piety, delighted them. He spent two 
months in India, where everything was 
new and strange to him, with the greatest 
pleasure and profit. Soon after he had 
shipped for home, his brother writes : — 

" We easily imagine your anxiety, foi 
^we had a brother once,' and never shall 1 



42 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

forget his smiling face when he first made 
his appearance with us. He has left, too, 
such pleasant remembrances, such gladsome 
feelings, — for we are sure that Frazar is 
fast anchored to that Rock from which 
there is no parting asunder again. You 
cannot realize the holi/^ happy change in 
him. As father says, God did have a 
'plan,' and has carried him safely through 
the Slough of Despond." 

As he was about leaving Bombay for 
the home voyage he writes : 
"My Dear Father, — 

" I start on or about April 15th. But, 
taking example of so worthy a person as 
my father, I shall divide my letter into 
several topics. 1st. Health ; it was never 
better, and I, with the blessing of God, 
shall come back a strong, healthy man. 
2d. Spirits, — not ardent spirits, but men- 
tal. My spirits never were better. I am 
no longer of a dull, moping disposition, but 
am disposed to see the world as it is, and 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 43 

to make the best of everything. 3d. 'My 
plans for the future are what I told you 
in my last letter, subject, of course, to the 
will of God. Lastly. I hope I am at last 
all rio-ht in relio;ious matters. I trust I 
have learned to put faith in Christ and 
God, whicli is in truth believing. I have 
the greatest faith that I shall be able to 
rely wholly on Him, for consolation here 
below and mercy above." 

His voyage out was attended with one 
of the heaviest gales ever known in the 
Indian Ocean; and a storm, if possible, still 
more terrific struck the ship on its return, 
a few days before reaching its American 
port. But these perils of the deep were 
among his pastimes, and gave health to 
his body and sublimity to his thoughts. 
He was welcomed home, about the last 
of August, 1860, to overflowing hearts 
of love, and with profound gratitude to 
God. 



44 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

" On renewing their acquaintance with 
him after his return," says Professor Tyler^ 
" his teachers and friends were not more 
delighted with his manifest physical reno- 
vation than with the scarcely less visihle 
enlargement of his mind, elevation of his 
views and improvement of his character, 
thus forming at least one exception to the 
maxim of the Latin poet, ' Qui trans mare 
currunt, locum, non animum mutant.'' 

" During an absence from them of two 
years, he had almost forgotten his classics. 
But he resumed the study of them with 
the resolution to make himself a scholar. 
Greek now became to him another lan- 
guage from what it ever seemed before. 
Not content with the studies and instruc- 
tions of the regular course, he had com- 
menced some private lessons with the Pro- 
fessor, with the intention of laying broader 
and deeper the foundations of his knowl- 
edge of that wonderful language. And 
though he had to begin almost at the be- 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 45 

ginning again, I have no doubt, he would 
have mastered the difficulties had not the 
call of his country soon filled his ear and 
rendered him deaf to the remonstrances of 
the Muses. 

" I cannot bring this brief record of his 
college life to a conclusion," he adds, " with- 
out adverting to ^n incident which marked 
its close, and formed a fit transition to the' 
career of honor and self-sacrifice upon which 
he was soon to enter. Having been appoint- 
ed one of the speakers from the Sophomore 
class in the prize declamations at Commence- 
ment, he won the first prize. A classmate 
who was poor, not only gained no prize, but 
in consequence of having labored to the very 
last moment, in lighting the audience-room, 
lost his memory, and broke down in the 
midst o£ his piece. Stearns insisted that 
but for the exhaustion consequent upon 
this exertion, his classmate would have 
been a promising competitor for the honor, 
and so constrained him to receive the prize. 



46 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

This fact was confided at the time only to 
a single friend, and probably never would 
have gone further, had it not been for the 
young hero's early death. 

" The fall of Fort Sumter," continues the 
narrator, " which roused the nation from 
its fatal slumber, startled young Stearns, 
like the sound of a trumpet ; and on that 
dark and portentous Sunday, when so many 
ministers preached and so many congrega- 
tions heard the Word under the fearful 
foreboding that the flag of secession al- 
ready darkened the capitol, the ardent and 
generous young men of the college thought 
it no breach of the Sabbath to enroll a 
company, if needed, for the defence of 
Washington ; and at the head of this list 
of young patriot warriors, was wi-itten in 
his own hand, the name of Ei'azar A. 
Stearns. With the passing away of the 
immediate danger ceased the call for imme- 
diate action ; and the students consented to 
relinquish the proposed military company, 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 47 

for a general drill of the college. But 
Steams never ceased to revolve the ques- 
tion of duty to 'his country; and after the 
disaster at Bull Run, he came to his father 
with the news, saying : ' We have been 
beaten, and now there is a call for Frazar 
Stearns.' His father of course counselled 
against precipitation, and expressed his be- 
lief that the time had not come for young 
men to enlist, who were in a course of 
education. Frazar acquiesced for a. season; 
but the fire only burned in his bones. As 
he conversed from time to time upon the 
subject, his arguments grew clearer and his 
convictions deeper ; till at length his father 
and friends were constrained to feel that 
he had a call from God which they dared 
not resist, and to give him the hand, say- 
ing : ' If such are your motives and con- 
victions, go, and God be with you ! ' 

" A fact, mentioned by his physician, 
illustrates the spirit with which he went to 
the war, and his intention to go, not merely 



48 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

to hold office and win renown, but to make 
himself useful in every possible way to the 
men under his care. Not dong before his 
departure, he came to the doctor and spent 
hours in talking with him about the wounds 
and diseases of the soldier, his fatigues on 
the march, and his dangers in the camp, 
as well as the various forms of death or 
wounds in battle ; and he went to the war 
with a knapsack of medicines, and what is 
better, with a head fidl of practical wis- 
dom, as well as a heart full of sympathy, 
full}^ resolved, when necessary, to be the 
medical as well as the military and moral 
adviser of the men who should be intrusted 
to his char2:e. 

" It should be added, that his patriotism 
was not a sudden impulse produced by the 
excitement of the war. From early youth 
he had taken a deep interest in the history 
and prosperity of his country. And as 
those perilous times drew near, which fore- 
shadowed the rebellion and the war, his 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 49 

mind dwelt so mucli upon those perils, that 
amidst the dreamy wanderings of his long 
sickness in 1859, he proposed plans, not 
unworthy of a sound and mature under- 
standing, for the national safety. Especially 
he urged with great earnestness ' that his 
father should write articles for the most 
patriotic papers, and to the most judicious 
men of the country ; not the extreme or the 
party men, but to the honest, fair-minded, 
and good, to brino; them too-ether for con- 
sultation, and try to have the right men 
sent to Congress, who would take up the 
slavery question honestly and kindly, and 
propose that the government and the na- 
tion should offer to bear a reasonable part 
of the expense of emancipation.' Thus 
ready and anxious for peace, and even 
compromise, was he then, who, when the 
rebellion broke out and the time for com- 
promise was over, drew his sword and 
threw away the scabbard. 

" He hoped and expected to return. But 



60 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

distinctly contemplating the more than pos 
sibility of a different issue, he arranged all 
his letters and papers, made an inventory 
of all articles of value or interest, and left 
written directions for their disposition if 
he should be killed in battle. Meanwhile 
he had been most assiduously training 
himself in Amherst and Boston in the use 
of the bayonet and the revolver, and in the 
sword exercise, that he might be fitted for 
any emergency and all his military du- 
ties.'^ 

During the year thus hastily reviewed, 
Frazar seemed, for the most part, a singu- 
larly happy man. His health was good ; 
his mind sound and growing ; his heart 
and conduct mainly right. His old relig- 
ious doubts were gone; a final conquest had 
been achieved, in this part of his being. 
Whatever he might do, how much soever 
he might wander, there could be no more 
darkness impenetrable, for Christianity is 
true, and Christ is the light of the world, 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 51 

and there would always be hope in him 
for the penitent. Conscious of being essen- 
tially at peace with God, his days passed 
pleasantly along, and the sunshine was 
within and all about him. Notwithstand- 
ing his excitable temperament, it is not re- 
membered in the family that he so much 
as once lost his temper or uttered an un- 
kind word. Though he would express in- 
dignation towards mean conduct, when he 
met with it, he was generously forgiving, 
and his charity seemed Christlike. He was 
so gentle, too, in his bearing, that except 
for a certain determination in his look, a 
stranger would hardly suspect that the war- 
rior was in him. Nor "did the condition of 
the country, and the question of his own 
duty in reference to it, greatly disturb his 
composure. It gave depth, earnestness, and 
power to his spirit, roused his anxieties, and 
nerved him to high resolves, but did not 
depress him. His friends at home will 
never forget how much they enjoyed hia 



52 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

society that year, how much they confided 
in him, hoped for him, and loved him ; — 
they will only wonder that a life so beau- 
tiful should not have conveyed' to them a 
more distinct presentiment of its brevity. 

It must not be supposed, however, that 
he had no inward conflicts, tliat there 
were no outward compliances, and no oc- 
casions for self-reproof. In a strong nature 
like his, when the ideal standard .of duty 
is bright and high, and the conscience is 
quick and exacting, the temperament sus- 
ceptible, and its impulses imperious, there 
must be many battles and perhaps some 
reverses before the crown of final victory 
is obtained. 

A few extracts from a correspondence 
with an intimate friend will show some- 
thing of his ideal of goodness, his strug- 
gles to reach it, and his bitter self-condem- 
nation when he failed of it. 

" I cannot be satisfied mth being part 
good and the rest had. I must be good, 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 53 

all good, wholly given up to the interests 
of eternity, or had^ growing worse as I 
grow older. But, thank God ! I am never 
happy when doing wrong, never satisfied, 
but there is always a longing, groaning in 
me after something better, purer, holier ; 
something which shall be to me in place 
of friends, riches, worldly honor. I may be 
saved so as by fire ; but nevertheless I be- 
lieve I shall be saved, and God is only trying 
me for my own good and his glory." 

" I pray God, — first, that I may obey 
Him; next, that I may gratify the highest 
expectations of my friends for their sakes. 
There are great temptations in college; but 
none too strong for Jesus to overcome for 
us." 

Speaking of his intention to study closely, 
he says : " If I cannot get excitement from 
my books, I'll get it somewhere else, for my 
nature craves it. But I find I am all ridit 

o 

when I can trust God and make Him supe- 
rior to everything else." 



54 ADJUTANT STKAKNS. 

" ' A man's foes are they of his own 
household.' My greatest stiimbhng-blocks 
are my best friends, in college." 

Communion — "I felt as an outcast — as 
one who had no right to be there. But God 
is merciful, and He must hear me at last, if 
I only keep trying. I have always known 
my duty, and' wlien I have sinned, it was 
against greater light than most. God grant 
that I may overcome, and make Him the first 
object of my choice ! " 

" Do not think I am so good. It makes 
me feel mean^ as though I ought to let you 
know how wicked I am. I am a i)oor fel- 
low, at the very best, continually shifting 
around, inconsistent and unsteady." 

" The students here are getting more 
sober, /think, than they have been ; and I, 
for one, hope great things for myself and 
others in the day of prayer. Pray for me : 
pray that I may feel my need of a Saviour ; 
not only become intellectually but spiritually 
convinced. Pray that I may have strength 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 55 

given me to break away from every evil 
habit, and tnist in Jesus Christ. It's a lono- 
time, now, since I had anything to do with 
' those fellow\s,' to associate with whom is 
for me spiritual death. Don't misunderstand 
me, or think that I am now what I ouo-ht 
to be. Far from it ; but I know that I 
never can be a true Christian while I asso- 
ciate with them." 

"Our prayers must be answered ; for 
what says the holy Word of God ? and, as 
a friend once remarked to me, God's word 
never fails. No ; ' God's word never fails,' 
but is the same monument of love it was 
thousands of years ago, and will continue 
to be till God shall call his children home. 

" I can't tell you how I lojig, sometimes, 
to see my blessed mother. Many a time, the 
thought of how sweetly she died has kept 
me from distrusting God. And yet I know 
that my mother was as quick in her feelings 
as myself — impulsive and outspoken. But 
it is God that works in us ; and I am not at 



56 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

all afraid but if we really trust Him, we shall 
come out all straight. The trouble is, we 
don't really trust God ; we only think we 
do." 

" I've been a poor ' wandering sheep ' all 
my days. Continually, I am making up my 
mind to try and do nearer the right ; and 
every day and hour, I seem to be doing 
nearer what is wu'ong. I know that for 
me to serve God, I must do so with my 
whole heart ; and yet I only give Him a 
small part of my thoughts. How shall I 
ever become a minister ? is the question 
I often put to myself; and then tlie old 
temptations to make money and to do 
anything rather than be a minister, are 
constantly coming up. Shall I ever con- 
quer ? " 

It may here be said that his mind was 
for a while gi'eatly exercised by the ques^ 
tion of a profession. He was never much 
encouraged by his friends to choose the min- 
istry, from the conviction that his tastes, 



ADJUTANT STEAENS. 57 

temperament, health, required for him some 
more active, physical employment. But it 
was a question which he had to decide for 
himself, and at one time he had nearly made 
up his mind to enter the ministry. Yet it 
was with gi-eat self-distinist as to his abihty 
for this high calling, and a deep sense of 
unworthiness. He writes : " I am going to 
try to be a minister, and you can imagine 
with what humiliation I say this. / a 
minister ! " 

"I've always been unhappy, when I 
have determined not to be a minister ; and 
in every case when I have broken away 
from my covenant vows, I can see a rea- 
son. A minister's life is a hard one, as a 
friend of mine remarked the other day, 
a thankless one. But it is a happy life. It 
is just as plain to me as anything can be, 
that by being a minister I shall serve God 
and be happy ; otherwise, I shall be wretched 
all my days. And if I pray and trust in 
God, however much I may have wandered 



58 ADJUTANT STEARNS. , 

from him, I know he will help me. I have, 
as I hope, given myself heartily and en- 
tirely up to Him, and mean to try and ob- 
tain his blessing. I am determined to let 
nothing stand between me and serving God. 
If I thought that anything, however dear, 
would interfere with my hope in Christ, I 
would pray God to give me strength to 
cast it from me." 

" I have great hopes for Amherst Col- 
lege. God grant we may have a powerful 
revival ! I am selfish in this wish, for I need 
quickening and sanctifying." 

" I hope ' the boys ' will come back 
from vacation steady and determined to do 
well. College is a hard place, at best, to 
keep straight in ; and when the ' Christians ' 
get ' fast,' what can you expect the rest will 
do ? I think that professors of religion in 
college can't be too careful of their actions 
and words. Many is the time I have wished 
I could undo the past. But past is past ; 
and all that is in our power is to try and do 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 59 

riglit every day. I often think, if my mother 
had lived I should be a much better fellow 
than I am, and should have avoided many 
sins. Don't you think it is hard to do right? 
But one feels so much better when he knows 
he is doing his duty." 

" You see how hot-headed and hasty I 
am. I am a poor stray sheep, at best, as 
I often say ; and I sometimes think if I 
get to heaven, it will be because God is 
merciful, and I am to be taken away when 
I ' have a fit ' of serving Him. Don't think 
I mean to speak irreligiously, but that is 
just the expression of my actions." 

The extracts which follow express some 
of his tastes and feelings with regard to his 
studies. One of them will show also that 
the old question of the ministry still troubled 
him. 

" I am beginning to be very fond of 
Greek. You know I used to hate it ; but 
now I like what was once a tedious 
study." 



60 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

" I am writing on the poetry of mathe- 
matics. Do you like mathematics ? If not 
you must think this absurd. It is one of my 
weaknesses to be fond of mathematics and 
the sciences." 

" I thouglit I had settled the old ques- 
tion that has been troubling me all my life, 
four weeks ago. I thought, vainly as it 
seems, that I had fought the battle and 
conquered. Alas ! I trusted too much in 
my own strength, and find the battle is only 
half fought, and the toughest of it is yet to 
come. You won't think me eo^otistical if I 
tell you just what I think. 

" The great barrier to my religious hap- 
piness has always been a desire to be a scien- 
tific m.an ; and when I shall have graduated 
to devote my life and all my energies to 
chemistry. I can't explain to you how 
passionately fond of it I am ; not as a 
person is fond of music, or as many say 
they are fond of languages, history, mathe- 
matics ; but as a part almost of my very 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 61 

existence. I feel as if I could do anything, 
bear anything for its sake. 

" My ambition has not been to be a Pro- 
fesspjc Jn some college, or a lecturer, or a 
writer on the subject ; but I have thought 
I would give my whole life to it, and try 
to he something in chemistry. Would to 
God I could see my way clear I How 
many times I have wished I could know it 
to be my duty to be a chemist. This is the 
question I thought I had decided, — to he a 
minister, I knew I wasn't good enough , 
and I knew, too, if I waited until I was, 
I should never be one. So I made up my 
mind, as I thought, trusting in God. I fear 
I didn't trust Him enough. Chemistry has 
been a golden stumbling-block to me, not 
one year, or two, but five. I love the sci- 
ence with no boyish enthusiasm ; but foi 
its own sake, — for itself. Sometimes I al 
most feel as though I could pray God to 
let me become a chemist. Am I wrong to 
feel s-^?" 



62 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

His views in reference to the war and his 
own duty respecting it, were remarkable for 
a young man, hardly twenty-one. He not 
only had clear notions of the great national 
issues, of the importance of a nation, and the 
tern Die consequences of successful rebellion, 
but felt that he himself had a special call to 
fight, and die, if necessary, for his native 
land. He revolved the matter and con- 
versed upon it, in a calm, cheerful, but 
earnest and martyr-like spnut. He took up 
the dread work of war, not for honor, not 
for pay, not for adventure, but animated by 
a sublime patriotism, under the influence of 
those high inspirations which stirred the 
hearts of the old warriors of Israel, and 
which, under Providence, " organize vic- 
tories." A certain sacred enthusiasm, which 
seemed to come in upon him from without, 
bore him on steadily from the beginning till 
it ha,d conducted him up to the altar of sac- 
rifice. 

No opposing argument could be advanced 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 63 

which he had not considered. He studied 
himself, and beh'eved that he had adapta- 
tions for the military life ; that he had cour- 
age, self-control, power of command and in- 
fluence over men, and that he could inspire 
them, at least some of them, with elevated 
sentiments of patriotism, and perhaps with 
something like sacred enthusiasm. He 
thought the country was in need of edu- 
cated men, of moral and religious men, of 
officers who would act from principle, who 
would feel for the privates and take care 
of them, who would work hard to make 
them soldiers, and perhaps Christian sol- 
diers. These views often came out in con- 
fidential conversations. When asked how 
he felt in view of the possibility that a 
cannon-hall might send him into eternity in 
an instant, he answered, " I hope of course 
to escape and to return home ; but I have 
.thought of all this, and if it should be God's 
will, I think I am ready." When younp- 
Ellsworth was killed, he said, " It is a glc 



64 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

rious death. I should be wUHno; to have 
stood in his place, if I could save the 
country." 

Extracts from his letters will show some 
of his views on this subject, and exhibit his 
character in other respects. 

" About going to the war — at present 
there is no necessity, for troops are vol- 
unteering faster than they can be supplied, 
or officered, or sent off. But when there is 
need of 77ie, I shall not hesitate to go at a 
moment's warning. I think it will be my 
duty. 

" If God tells me to go and fight, oi 
even die, for my country, would you tell 
me not to go ? It is not such an awful 
thing to die, though to the flesh it may 
seem hard. The end of life is not to live, 
but to do what God wants us to do ; and 
it matters not whether He wishes one to 
die here, or abroad, or on the battle field, 
or at- home, so long as one is doing his 
duty." 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 65 

" The question is coming nearer and near- 
er to one^ — will you go and do your duty 
to your country ? The news to-day, though 
not of a positive character, looks very^ very 
dark. God grant the future may brighten ! 
But we must not disguise the fact from 
ourselves, that this is to be a lono- war. 
Neither can we look away from the fact 
that, as time rolls by and the war pro- 
gresses, the troops will become 'disabled, 
and there will be a call for more men. 
Where are they to come from? My trust 
is not in Abraham Lincoln, not in General 
Scott, but in God, for the right must win. 
But young as I am, I foresee a long and 
tedious and bloody war. Remember me in 
your prayers. Pray God to give me a 
trustino; and believino; heart." 

"I am very wicked, and God only knows 
the extent of it. It seems as if I was liv- 
ing wholly for self, without any considera- 
tion of those around me. Oh ! that I had 
never uttered an expression but of loyalty 



66 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

to God ! But I have often, and do still, by 
mj example deny Christ. May God in his 
infinite mercy help me to see my way clear 
through all this trying time ! I am going 
to try and trust God as I never did be- 
fore. I hope you will pray ve'n/ earnestly/ 
for me, that he will come and bless me 
now. I cannot stand this pressure of ex- 
citement ; something must give way, and, 
if' it cd!itinues, God only knows what ; 
still I shall be prepared to go whenever 
my country calls me." 

" When I am called I shall 20 : but 
I hope most devoutly now, that I shall 
not be called till I have graduated at Am- 
herst." 

" I fear the worst is not yet come. 
We may expect gloomy times before long, 
and I, for one, am going to put myself in 
training, so as to serve my country when 
the time comes for it. 

" Have you heard the war news ? I'm 
sure you have, and of the fighting too. I 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 67 

can think of nothing else ; and I hope God 
will give me grace to go and fight, if it 
be His will. You ask me, if I am tired 
of life ? No ! not quite yet ; but if I 
could be assured of falling at peace with 
Heaven, I would be willing to go notv.^^ 

Having received a commission as 1st 
Lieut, of Company I, in the 21st Regi- 
ment of Massachusetts Volunteers, he was 
ordered on the 21st of August, with his 
regiment, to Washington, and was soon 
stationed at Annapolis. While at Annap- 
olis, he attracted the attention of Gen. 
Reno, who offered him a position as aid- 
de-camp. But after reflecting on the sub- 
ject of his duty in reference to it, he 
politely, but firmly, declined the flattering 
offer. He said in his letters, home, that he 
had made up his mind to stick by the 
regiment ; that his company actually need- 
ed him in it ; that he was determined to 
fight for his country ; to deserve promo- 
tion- before receivino; it. He adds: — "I 



68 . ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

have left everything to fight for my coun- 
try. If, in the course of events, I should 
prove a good soldier, fit to command men, 
and an ahle officer ; . and if God in his 
great mercy should spare my life, my suc- 
cesses would then, of course, he measured, 
at least in some degree, hy my advance- 
ment. A good officer is always known ; 
and if you will excuse me for saying so, 
the qualifications of a good officer are, 
besides courage, intelligence, energy, good 
breeding, and a certain knack and power 
in commandincr men." 

A portion of his correspondence while at 
Annapolis may be of interest. 

"Naval Academy, Annapolis, Sept. 4th, 1861. 
"My Dear Father, — 

" Yours of the 30th ult. came to hand 
last night, just as I was preparing to turn 
in. I assure you 3-our letters are hailed 
with the greatest interest, and read over 
and over again. When you have five 
minutes leisure, remember that you have 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 69 

a son who has left a good home and 
everything which can make hfe pleasant, 
for the discomforts of tlie camp. Remem- 
ber that he is comparatively among stran- 
gers and in the midst of proflinity and vice. 
Remember that he has gone to save his 
country, and, that there are chances that 
you all will never see him again, or be 
able to minister to his comfort, other than 
by writing a line now and then. I don't 
w^rite with the blues. I havn't them. I'm 
twice the man I was when I left you ; but 
I do anticipate news from home, and I say 
then, if you have time, write me if it be 
every day. 

" I am getting along finely, and the men 
appear to like me. I am very pleasant, 
but not familiar off duty, and very strict 
on duty. The men take an interest in 
drilling, Avith one or two exceptions, and 
those I " put tlirougli.^^ You know me 
well enougli to know that I can tolerate 
anything but indifference and laziness." 



70 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

" Sept. 14th. 
" What win become of our country, is a 
question which I ask myself daily, hourly. 
To this there seems at present no solution ; 
no one but the Almighty can foresee the re- 
sult. I am glad I came here, glad for many 
reasons. I am glad because I hold it to 
be my duty to fight for and devote all my 
energies to my government. When I left 
home I thought it was not the duty of stu- 
dents to enlist. I can't say I think so now. 
We are in absolute need of more men at 
once, and to the number of 200,000. How 
shall we get them ? By raising three regi- 
ments in Massachusetts, another in Rhode 
Island, two or more in Connecticut, and 
waiting the pleasure of the people to en- 
list ? No ! We have had play long en- 
ough. If we ever expect to overcome, 
we must gird on the sword. I believe it 
to be the duty of every^ man wdio is fit to 
bear arms, to come forward and offer him- 
self to the government. The old excuse 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 71 

is no longer valid. There are not enough 
men. Our cities are menaced, and our 
very homes threatened, merely because we 
are willing to pay money but not enlist 
ourselves. I want to see the North 
aroused. God grant it may be so." 

" Tank Station, Annapolis, Sept. 25th. 
"My Dear Father, — 

" I have received all your letters and am 
very^ very grateful to you all for writing so 
often to me. I am daily greeted by a letter 
as the cars pass by my picket, which I take 
to my tent and eagerly devour. Monday we 
received information that a troop of thirty 
cavalry were coming down from Baltimore 
to try and cross our pickets. Of course it 
put us on the ' qui vive ; ' and, after giving 
out thirty rounds of ammunition, I told the 
men they would be obliged to be awake all 
night, and if we had a fight I expected every 
man would stand by me. I told them to be 
cool and not get excited, and obey every 
order implicitly ; that, while I expected every 



72 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

man would do his duty, and not flinch, the 
first man whom I detected turnino; his back 
I would shoot. If the cavalry had come our 
company would have done themselves credit. 
But farewell to all hopes of glory. They 
didn't come, and I must say I was very much 
dlsaiypointed^ for I expected a fight. I hadn't 
the least fear, and never went into a thing 
more coolly in my life. I had everything so 
arranged that I could tell by means of scouts 
when the enemy were withlji two miles. 
And if the signal had been given, I was 
going to barricade the road, put six men to 
cut off their retreat, the rest behind trees, 
&c., where they couldn't be seen, and I am 
confident we should have captured the whole 
of them. At any rate, they wouldn't have 
gone by easily. I am not boasting ; not a 
bit of it. A man ought not to be cowardly 
in such a cause ; and how can you terrify 
one who can look death in the face, and 
has made up his mind that his life is his 
country's, and expects death at every turn ? 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 73 

If I can save my country better by dying 
now than living, I am ready for it. 

" Meantime pray for me without ceasing, 
not that I may return safely, but that God 
may bless me spiritually." 

" Tank Station, Oct. 3d. 
"Dear Father, — 

" I received yesterday two letters, one 

from you, the other from N ^, dated 

September 30th. N says she don't be- 
lieve I appreciate your letters half as much 
as you do mine. If anybody could see me 
watching for the mail train and see the ex- 
pression of my countenance when I get a let- 
ter, I think that idea would be speedily done 
away with. I frequently walk a mile and one 
half for the sake of getting the letters two 
hours sooner. But I don't think it necessary 
to tell jovl that I like letters from home; you 
all know it, and I am sure will w^rite to me 
as often as you can. 

" I think we shall winter at Annapolis. 
On many accounts I am glad, and on others 



74 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

soriy, — glad, for we shall then be in a con- 
dition to do good service, and shall not be 
likely to get cut to pieces, — sorry, because 
we shall not see fighting until Spring. I 
would give anything to be in the coming 
campaign. But cid hono ? I must accept 
the cross and do my duty here. 

" Now why I advocate and call so loudly 
for everybody, particularly the best portion 
of our community, to enlist and come down 
here is, 1 believe that under God, this war is 
to be virtually decided in one year's time : of 
course it will take longer to right everything, 
but it will be a war, not only with arms, but 
to be waged with words. And the more 
Northerners that can pour down here, and 
the better their position, so much the quick- 
er shall we reassure the South and save our 
country. That's the reason I say to one and 
all, ' Come and lielj) us.' Come and let the 
South know who you are, and by demonstrat- 
ing the utter absurdity of their fears, save 
the Union. If all the colleges would organ- 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 75 

ize themselves into a brigade, and their presi- 
dents go as diaplains, and their professors as 
officers or privates, the effect throughout the 
Soutli would be electrical. Thousands would 
spring up to welcome them, and some iopray 
with them on Southern soil. And now, my 
dear father, let me say to you, I think, under 
God, you have a duty to perform : when the 
call comes, do you set the example and go 
as chaplain of some regiment. Thousands 
would follow you into the field ; and, whether 
you should live or die, your name would as- 
cend on the lips of the nation, and your soul 
would go up to God filled with his Holy 
Spirit. 

" Said a gentleman to me the other day, 
one of the most influential men in the State, 
' Mr. Stearns, I was really sorry when I heard 
that Massachusetts men were coming to guard 
this road. I thought them the worst people 
in the workl, and I was actually dreading 
their approach. But,' he says, ' so far from 
realizing our expectations, we have found 



76 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

them the best men, — gentlemen^ Jcind, social, 
full of fiyie feelings, higlily mindful of our 
feelings, respecting our py^operty ; and I know 
of three or four gentlemen who have com- 
pletely changed their opinions on their ac- 
count.' Said he, ' We don't know you, and 
I want, when you go back to Massachusetts, 
that you should remember us and we you." 

'' Tank House Station, Oct. 6th. 
"My Dear Mother, — 

" I have just received a letter from father, 
dated October 3d, also his sermon. I hope 
that he will continue to preach such sermons 
until the North become sensible of their dan- 
ger. Preach, I say, at all times and in every 
pulpit. Preach that the great mass of the 
Northern people must become aroused before 
they can hope to compete with the South and 
the leaders of Secession. Let every man and 
boy who can, take up arms and go to the 
war, trusting to the God of Abraham, Isaac, 
and Jacob. Oh, that I could see the coun- 
try awake to their danger ; that I could see 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 77 

them all on their knees praying to God to 
forgive their sins and help them in the right ! 
As father says, the North can never succeed 
until they humble themselves before God. 
Would that I had the pen of an angel to 
write and stir up the people ! Would that 
any poor words of mine could induce any 
one, large or small, high or low, to join in 
the struo^o;le ! 

" The war now before us is not like that 
of the Revolution. We must give, not only 
our treasures and our sons, but ourselves. 
I want to see the whole country awake. It 
seems as though they were all dead or asleep. 
Fremont is in Missouri, and the cry comes 
from there, ' more men.' Anderson is in 
Kentucky, and the cry comes from there, 
' more men,' notv at once. From all sides 
comes the cry, ' more men, more men of self- 
sacrificing spirit, — men wlio hioiv lioio to die.'' 
No ! they prefer to fight by sitting in their 
arm-chairs, by drawing around their chim- 
ney-fires, by poring over books and clas- 



78 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

sics, by making money, by encouraging 
trade, by self-indulgence and not by self- 
denial, by anything, in short, but* giving 
themselves up to the struggle, body and soul^ 
saying, ' Lord, what wilt thou have me to 
do ? ' What would rouse the country quicker 
to a sense of its danger tlian to see all its 
educated men going to fight the battles of 
the Lord? God grant something may be 
done by somebody and that speedily ! " 

Li answer to the suggestion of some one 
that many soldiers, perhaps most who die, 
may die ingloriously, he adds ; 

" I am very sure I am quite ready to die 
an ir/nominioas death, as a private or officer, 
or do anything for our beloved country." 

» Tank House Station, Oct. 21st. 
"My Dear Father, — 

" I thank you for the good opinion you 
entertain of me. I shall strive never to 
disgrace you ; but just now what I want is 
' grace,' and I ask you all not to pray 
that I may return safely, but that I may 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 79 

C.nd God as I have never done before, that 
I may depend on Him in all my ways, 
that I may learn of Him, go to him with 
all my troubles and perplexities. I feel the 
need of God, and I know I have not yet 
found Him as I can if I have faith given 
me to pray. I cannot bear all my cares 
alone. I must have some sustaining hand 
to guide me. I am searching after God. 
T want you to tell me how to find Him. 
Write me a good long flitherly letter, and 
let it be soon. I feel with the strength 
He can give us, we can all go forward, 
whether in battle or otherwise, our lives 
beino; in the hands of God." 

" November 1 7tb. 
"My Dear Father, Mother, Sisters and 
Brother, — 
" I must write, I think, to you in a body, 
until we go off; for you must know that I 
am going off, on the next expedition under 
Gen. Burnside. Last ni^ht Col. Morse in- 
formed us that we had received orders to 



80 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

go : we were perfectly crazy. Gen. Burn- 
side is a splendid man, and I can go any- 
where with him ; we are to have rifles and 
everything which heart could desire. In 
fine we are to be admirably accoutred in 
every respect, and are all of us wild with 
delight. We shall have some fighting in 
old Carolina. Six months hence, if I live, 
I shall have passed through stirring events. 
Much love to all." 

" Annapolis, Dec. 22d. 
" My Dear Father, — 

" I have received all your letters, and 
thank you for writing so frequently and 
giving me such good advice. I left off, I 
think, in E.'s letter telling her about our 
new guns, and how proud our poor fellows 
are of them. They have served longer 
than any regiment about here, and know 
pretty well how to take care of guns. I 
am sm-e they will use them well ; for they 
know how, and are proud of them. I have 
a Frenchman in the company. ' Oh ! ' he 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 81 

says to me, ' mon fusil est tres jolV Well, 
I am getting to be a boy myself with talk- 
ing about the guns. The fact is, I am de- 
lighted, and as much of a boy as any of 
them. I have had foreboding-s about our 
going into battle with bad guns. I have 
seen our regiment cut up terribly as those 
at Ball's Bluff. I have seen them fightinor 
nobly, thvwing away their lives, for those 
abominable rebels. But, thank God ! we 
shall at least die like men. Burnside's ex- 
pedition is to sail in a week or two ; and 
he says, whoever goes with him will see 
hard fighting. Why canH you come and 
see me hefore I go. You have only one 
son fighting for his country. You knoio 
the chances — perhaps I may never see you 
again. It will take only four days. 

" Your affectionate son." 

" Annapolis, Dec. 29th. 
My Dear Father, — 

We are just this minute in receipt of ex- 
citing orders from Gen. Burnside. They are 



82 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

— the colonels of the different regiments 
will be prepared to march with three days* 
provisions, at twelve hours' notice. We are 
on the eve of great events. At any rate, I 
will venture to say that we are being in- 
troduced into new things, and we shall see 
what will astound the world. A great na- 
tion, free and independent^ literally so, will 
be born, and the world shall rejoice." 

The request of Dec. 22d, " Come and 
see me before I go," could not be de- 
nied. Though the journey, undertaken in 
ill health, was the occasion of a fever and 
many weeks of nervous prostration, it will 
of course never be regretted. It gave op- 
portunity^ not only of witnessing something 
of camp life and the movements of a divi- 
sion, but for conversations and sympathies, 
and last words, not then known to be 
the last — which can never be forgotten. 
These were brought to a close by the or- 
dering of the regiment, to go on board The 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 83 

Northerner, wliicli they did on the 6th of 
January, 1862. 

Lieut. Stearns, who had now been pro- 
moted to the office of acting adjutant, 
writes again : 

" Off Hatteras Inlet, Jan. 15th. ^^ 

" My time is greatly occupied. My du- 
ties are constant and heavy. We are 
going into North Carohna. You may ex- 
pect great events in the next two or three 
weeks." 
" Steamer Northerner, at' Hatteras, Jan. 21st. 

" If I am spared, expect me home to 
graduate. If not, remember that I could 
not possibly have an easiei' or more glori- 
ous death.' 

The public have all heard of the severe 
trials of this expedition on its way to the 
field of action. The terrific gale — the al- 
most impossibility of getting over the bar — 
the wreck of several vessels. The steamer 
Northerner was at one time aground, and 



84 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

twelve others with her. She was also 
twice badly stove by other vessels running 
mto her. This caused tlie young Adjutant 
great care and labor, and excited in him 
for a short time, the fear that the expedi- 
tion might fail to realize the expectation 
of the public. But his confidence soon 
returned, and he used it efficiently to aid 
the courage of others, and to help on 
the important results which soon fol- 
lowed. 

When the news of the battle of Roanoke 
Island reached his friends, they examined 
the papers, in common with thousands of 
other families, with palpitating hearts. Not 
finding his name among the list of the dead 
or wounded, they breathed more freely for 
a time. The next day, the papers said : 
" Adjutant Stearns, in. the head, slightly ; " 
" Adjutant Stearns, in the head and neck, 
not badly." Hopefully, but very anxiously, 
more definite information was waited for. 
At length, nearly a week later, came a 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 85 

hurried line, in pencil, from his own well- 
known hand. 

"Februaiy 10th, 1862. 
" Dear Father, — 

" We are in possession of Roanoke Is- 
land. I am well, though slightly wounded. 
I shall be over it in a few days. I received 
a ball, in my forehead and in my neck, 
both slight. I was very fortunate. 

" Your affectionate son, 

" Frazar." 

His conduct in this battle was the sub- 
ject of commendation by his superior of- 
ficers and by the press. Lieut. Col. Maggi, 
commanding the 21st, says of him, in his 
official report, after complimenting the whole 
regiment in the highest terms : " I shall men- 
tion two — Capt. T. S. Foster and Lieut. F. 
A. Stearns, acting adjutant — not because 
they fought more bravely, but because they 
were, by the force of circumstances, obliged 
to stand for a longer time in a more dan- 
gerous position than any others. 



86 ADJUTANT STKAKNS. 

" The last two had been, durmo; all the 
fight, coolly and bravely at my side, from 
the begmning till the end. Both have been 
wounded : the first, by a bullet in the left 
leg, and the second slightly, in the right 
temple and in the neck." 

The special correspondent of " The N'ew 
York Tribune," in his account of the bat- 
tle, says : " Gen. Reno mentions with great 
praise the behavior of Lieut. Stearns, of the 
21st Massachusetts, who, wounded twice, in 
the head, each time returned to the field, 
and in this condition fouMit with his recri- 
ment till the end of the day." 

Some days later than this. Major Clark, 
who had been promoted, and was now the 
lieutenant colonel commanding, writes of 
him : " Lieut. F. A. Stearns is acting as my 
adjutant, and is a very valuable oflScer, — 
intelligent, faithful, and brave as the brav- 
est. In the battle of the 8th February, 
he was prostrated by a bullet which struck 
the visor of his cap and his forehead ; but 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 87 

immediately sprang to his feet, the bloQd 
streaming down his face, and iTished for- 
ward with his comrades to the charge upon 
the battery. During the same terrific vol- 
ley from the enemy, a rifle ball passed over 
his rioht shoulder and throuo-h his coat col- 
lar, cutting a shallow wound, about three 
inches in length, on the back of his neck."% 

His own account of this battle will be 
read with interest : 

" This is the first opportunity I have had 
to write a letter, having been somewhat used 
up by the fatigue and exposure consequent 
on the battle of the 8th inst. I am happy 
to begin by telling you all at home, dear 
ones, whom I think of so often, that I am 
now in my usual good health. 

"Friday, the 7th of Feb., early in the 
morning, we were ordered to be in readi- 
ness to embark on board The Patuxent, 
which is a fight-draft vessel, drawing only 
about six feet. At about 12 a. m., we were 
on board, after filling our haversacks with 



88 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

three days' provisions, and our stomachs 
witli a good dinner. The men were in fine 
order, gay, lively, even frolicsome ; every 
gun ready, and in good order, and, above all, 
a good colonel at our head. The gunboats 
had been shelling tlie fort on Roanoke Island 
all the morning. We passed by Gen. Burn- 
^side's boat, and our men gave him three 
rousing cheers with a good will. The pik)t 
guided us skilfully and carefully to the land. 
The boat glided up a cove, until we ran 
aground only a boat's length from shore. 
We brought up a boat and made a bridge, 
and all our men passed safely over on to the 
land, without wetting a foot. The Colonel 
immediately placed one of our skirmisli com- 
panies in advance, and then ordered the reg- 
iment to be formed upon the shore, which 
was a marsh like those in Duxbury. We 
were the only regiment which formed reg- 
ularly on the shore. The 2oth was already 
there, and also part of one brigade. This 
was about 4 p. m. of the 7th inst. After we 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 85 

had landed, Gen. Reno, our brigadier-gen- 
eral, came up, and said : ' Cul. Maggi, you 
will go ahead and take possession of the road 
leading to the batteries of the enemy, and 
your regiment will be on picket to-night.' 
So forward we went, and advanced up the 
road, which led us through a dense wood 
of pine and cypress and tangled under- 
growth, throwing out our advanced guard 
on either flank. At last, we came to a 
pond, by which we could not pass. It was 
here that one of Company G was shot by 
a rebel picket, at about 7 p. m. We found 
the enemy were near, and concluded it was 
best to stop for the night. So Gen. Foster, 
of the 1st, and Gen. Reno, of the 2d Brig- 
ade, coming up at this time with a battery 
and one piece, we posted ourselves for the 
night, within sight of the rebel camp-fires. 
Being on picket, not one of the regiment 
could sleep. No fires could be built, and 
beside these discomforts, a heavy rain con- 
tinued to fall at intervals during the whole 



90 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

night. The men never so much as com- 
plained, nor did they act imprudently, but 
were as silent as they should have been in 
the presence of the enemy. At light, on 
Saturday morning, the 8th inst., we began 
to build fires, and soon came an order from 
Gen. Burnside to allow the 1st Briiiade 
to pass our lines. This made us feel very 
unpleasantly, because it always belongs to 
the regiment which has stood on picket to 
first have the honor of engaging the enemy. 
But of course we had to submit, and Gen. 
Foster passed through at the head of his 
brigade. Soon the fire opened, and we 
could hear the shots right in advance, and 
see the wounded being borne back. Our 
men never flinched. Gen. Reno came to 
Col. Maggi, and pointing to a dense, almost 
impenetrable cypress swamp, said : ' Col- 
onel, you must flank the battery.' Col. 
Maggi led the way ; I followed ; then Capt. 
Foster, leading his company. After an hour 
of almost superhuman effort, cutting bushes 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 91 

with our swords, and wading to our mid- 
dle in bogs and water, two companies 
got on to the flank of tlie battery, and 
beo-an the fire. Our Colonel was every- 
where cool as he is sometimes excitable, 
and as brave as a lion. Seeing the men 
were shooting to little purpose, he ordered 
them to cease firing, and then in a loud 
voice told them to fire only when they 
could see theii' mark. 

" For two hours and a half, these two com- 
panies kept up a scattering but well-directed 
fire. At about Ij- A. M., Major Clark came 
up with the rest of the regiment, and Gen. 
Reno ordered us to charge bayonets. We 
did so, crossing over one hundred yards of 
exposed ground. It was here the bullets 
poured in like rain. We were ordered to 
halt, fire, and, lying down behind a little 
natural elevation, to load. Then we were 
ordered to charge bayonets, and rising up, 
we could see the enemy running. I never 
in my life saw a sight so magnificent. I 



92 ADJUTANT STEAKNS. 

never was so thrilled. As our noble men 
advanced with bayonets fixed, at a short 
quick step, a low involuntary cry burst from 
their lips. It was no war-cry ; it was a 
cry of exultation, of joy, which came leap- 
ino; from a thousand hearts, swellincr into 
a perfect storm of cheers as we entered the 
battery, which consisted of two thirty-two 
pounders and one twelve pounder, supported 
by about 1500 men. The 51st Regiment 
was close behind ; also Hawkins's Zouaves. 
But WE turned the battery, and Gen. Burn- 
side said so to Col. Mai]^o;i. Old Massachu- 
setts' flag was soon floating on the battery, 
and with proud hearts we once more formed 
into line to pursue the enemy. 

" It was during that murderous volley 
that most of our men were killed ; and I 
received two slio-ht wounds, one in the neck 
and one in the forehead, which knocked 
me over. But I was soon up, rejoicing at 
my good fortune, and never felt the wounds 
till twenty-four hours after." 



f 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 9^ 

"Feb. 19th. 
"My Dear All: — 

" I left off in my last letter just where w^ 
entered the battery of the enemy. Then 
were three guns, two of them twenty- foui 
or tliirty-two pounders, the other a sixteer 
pounder, — all brass pieces. After a few 
moments *of congratulations, we formed litie 
and started in pursuit of the enemy. AL 
along the road was strewed in confusion, 
guns, knapsacks, blankets, canteens, and 
everything which belongs to the equipments 
of a soldier. We sent out skirmishers, but 
the enemy were too much demoralized to 
make a stand. After marchino; about four 
miles, we came to a large open space, and 
sent out a detachment to reconnoitre a farm- 
house a few rods distant. There we took 
about eight or ten prisoners, — one of them 
an aid of Gov. Wise's son. After restinor 

o 

here about an hour, and drying our clothes, 
which were soaked throuo;h and through, 
we started again. We took about one hun- 



M ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

dred prisoners on the way, dressed In gray 
coats, some of them wounded, others hmp- 
incr. After a march of about three niiles 
more, we came to a row of barracks, and 
then found that the whole of the forces on 
the island had surrendered, — some two 
thousand in number. This number was 
after increased to some three tHbusand or 
more, by the gun-boats and detachments 
comino; over from the main land. You 
may imagine that we were well satisfied 
with our undertaking. You may well be- 
lieve that, tired though we were, and wet 
and hungry, our hearts were full. About 
forty-four of our regiment were killed or 
wounded, — five killed, and the rest wound- 
ed, of whom two have since died. 

" I cannot but hope God will grant that 
I may return in safety home, and live to 
praise His name in Amherst. The bullets 
whistled all around me, — the cannon shots 
flew over me, — and yet none hit me until 
the very last. Then, as if God wished to 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 95 

sliow me how kind lie was to me, I was lilt 
twice, first by a ball which passed within one 
Fourth of an inch of my spine, made a little 
furrow in my neck, and passed through my 
shirt, vest, coat, and overcoat. The other, 
a buck-shot, entered my cap, passed through 
and hit me on the right forehead. A stun- 
ning sensation, a feeling of faintness, and I 
sank down on the ground. Then I revived, 
and crawling a few steps, I found I was all 
right, though the blood was streaming down 
my face. I thank God that I was permitted 
that day to do something for my country. 

" I never felt my wound until twenty-four 
hours after the battle, when it caused me 
some trouble for two or three days ; but it 
is now quite well. God grant I may see 
you all, dear ones, again, and that together 
we may thank Him for preserving you from 
any harm, and me from the bullet and can- 
non-shot, and more still, from the moral pes- 
tilence of camp-life. Pray for me that my 
faith may be strengthened, — that my pur- 



L- 



96 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

poses may all be changed for righteous- 
ness. 

" Elizabeth City, has been taken by our 
forces, and we are now awaiting orders. 

" We hope to go soon to Newbern, or 
somewhere in the vicinity, but cannot tell 
as to our whereabouts. But remember one 
thing, wherever I go I am in God's hands ; 
and though I have been very remiss in the 
past, I cannot but hope He will forgive my 
short-comings, and guard me in future, spir- 
itually as well as physically. 

" Our men, although up all Friday night 
before the battle, fouo;ht like timers. ' The 
reason was : 1st. Because every officer 
knew his duty and did it. 2d. Because 
the men were well fed and care taken of 
them. 3d. Because they had a Colonel 
who knew what he was about, and is a 
gentleman besides. God grant this unhappy 
war may cease ! He seems to be doing the 
work now, and I must hope that He will 
achieve the victory for us ; but we must give 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 97 

Him the credit. As when He told Gideon 
to leave most of his men behind, so now He 
seems to be working for us. He is our best 
Major-General ; and where can the enemy 
find such an one, though educated at West 
Point and trained by years of actual expe- 
rience ? " 

Writing to his little brother, he says : — 

" I am well, and thank God for it. When 
we first arrived I was very, very tired. It 
was Saturday night of the 8th February. I 
was wet^ hungry^ dirty. After building up a 
roaring fire, and pulling off my boots, — 
which came off rather hard, for you must 
remember that I had stood in the swamp 
three and a half hours, over my boots in 
mud and water, — I turned in, with hardly 
a thing to eat, and slept pretty well. In 
the morning I felt stiff and sore, and very 
much perplexed to find that my boots were 
as stiff as shingles, and one of the boot-legs 
nearly burned off. 



98 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

"I hope to see you all again, but not 
before this terrible war is finished. Then^ 
if God spares my life, I hope to live at 
home once more, and graduate. I have a 
contraband, — a first-rate boy, — who re- 
fused to go off with his master when taken 
prisoner. Poor negroes ! I cannot but pity 
them. Let us settle this war, and then by 
some method free the slaves. I have more 
faith in God every day, and less in man. 
He can bring us out of all this trouble, and 
He alone. I don't put my trust in men ; 
but I hope I do in God. He must prevail. 
It is an axiom. How can God's word fail ? 
Be a good boy, W. Remember to read 
your Bible every day, and pray every morn- 
ing and night. You want to be a brave 
boy, I know. Well, you can be as brave 
and braver than any who fought on Roan- 
oke Island on the 8th. It takes more cour- 
age to say No, when a naughty boy asks 
you to do wrong, oftentimes, than to face a 
battery. Good night. God bless you all. A 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 99 

kiss for each of the girls and mother. Love 
to father. 

" Your affectionate brother, 

" Frazar." 

Writing to one of his sisters, he says : — 

"March 8th. 

"Our arms are all victorious, and our 
cause just and holy ; while the enemy are 
dispirited, tired of fighting, and begin to see 
that they are in the wrong. Give God the 
glory, for He has done it. We shall rise 
out of our ashes a greater and nobler nation 
than ever before. 

" My love to all. If I ever see you again, 
how many things I shall have to tell you ! 
But if not, God grant I may fall fighting 
bravely, our arms victorious to the last ! 
Love to all my friends. I prophesy that 
four months from now, — by the 4th of 
July, — peace will be proclaimed ; and I 
hope that soon after I may thank God with 
you for our success." 



100 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

The following is the last letter the young 
officer ever wrote to his friends at home. 
It breathes the same spirit of courage, gen- 
erosity, and resignation which has appeared 
so characteristic of him. It was written on 
board The Northerner, only five days before 
the fatal battle at Newbern : — 

" Steamer Northerner, oflf Roanoke Island, 

"March 9th. 
"My Dear Mother, — 

" The bearer of this note is , a pri- 
vate of Company H, who is on a furlough of 
sixty days, on account of a wound received 
at Roanoke Island on the 8th February. 
You will, I know, take good care of him, 
and do everything possible, for my sake. 
Just think you are helping me, and I know 
you will try and do everything in your 
power for him. He will tell you all about 
the fight at Roanoke, and the particulars of 
that glorious day. 

" We are going to-morrow morning at 
daylight somewhere, — where, exactly, I 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 101 

don't know. If Newbern, we shall prob- 
ably meet with resistance ; and the same 
if our destination is Weldon, or Winton, or 
any of those places in the vicinity of the 
railroad in the northern part of North Car- 
olina. 

" I am well provided for in every respect, 
and am as comfortable as can be ; and thank 
God for it ! My health is very good, and I 
am taking good care to keep it so* God 
only knows what a day may bring forth. 
He only can tell what may happen to me 
on the morrow ; but always remember that 
any hour or any moment may bring you news 
that I am killed or dangerously wounded. 
If either, then God's will be done ; and I 
hope I may always be prepared for any 
issue. 

" These are horrible times, when every 
man's hand is against his neighbor. But I 
have hope. Let the North pray more ; let 
them give the glory to God and not to man, 
and these days which are rolling by shall be 



102 ADJUTAl^T STEARNS. 

full of glorious victories, which are soon, 
very soon, to bring on peace." 

When the news of his death reached 
Amherst, by telegraph, March 18th, his 
friends were all taken by surprise. Of 
course they had feared such a result, and 
had supposed it might come suddenly. But 
he had just passed through the exposures 
and perils of Roanoke. It was thought, 
also, that the same regiment would not 
immediately be put foremost again. No 
rumors of the battle of Newborn had been 
made public. Letters of a hopeful character 
had been received from him the evening 
before. Anxious hearts of love were just 
then beo-innino; to beat with more than com- 
mon freedom. The news, prudently and 
tenderly announced by Professor Tyler, 
broke upon them like a thunderbolt. But 
God sustained them. How the dear boy 
had met his death, — whether instantly, or 
after protracted agonies, — whether life had 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 103 

rushed out through ghastly wounds, or had 
flowed gently away, — whether there were 
dying messages, or no parting words, — 
could not be known for some days- longer. 
There was room for excited imagination to 
depict scenes which cut the heart. But 
help was divinely given. God be praised ! 
It had been the prayer of the winter, 
throuo-h wearisome weeks of sickness and 
anxiety, " to be strengthened with all 
might, according to His glorious power, 
unto all patience and long-suffering, v/ith 
joyfulness." While prayer for the preser- 
vation of the child could not be heard, since 
God, in his wisdom, had better purposes, 
prayer for inward strength was signally an- 
swered ; for, " when sufferings abounded, 
consolations did much more abound." In- 
deed, the religion of Jesus furnishes but 
little encouragement to prayer against afflic- 
tions, but much for power to bear them. 
When Paul besought the Lord thrice that 
the thorn in his flesh mio;ht be removed, the 



104 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

answer was : " My grace shall be sufficient 
for thee." And when one greater than Paul 
prayed, with an earnestness reaching to ago- 
ny, that*the cup might pass away from him, 
that bitter cup would not pass away, but 
an angel was sent to strengthen him. 
Christ himself said to his followers : " In 
the world ye shall have tribulation, but be 
of good cheer ; I have overcome the world." 
If men were wise they would pray less for 
preservation from trouble, and more for 
cheerful submission and power to endure 
it. A German poet has said : " The way 
to Heaven lies over Golgotha." We must 
take the way if we would reach the city. 
By higher authority we learn of the white- 
robed ones above, — that " these are they 
who came out of great tribulation." 

We have now reached a point where the 
pen of filial and fraternal love will help us in 
our descriptions no more. The spirit which 
directed its movements has passed away. 
There is an inward history of last hours 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 105 

which can never be wi'itten. The antici- . 
pation of the battle, — the struggle against 
sickness, — the degree of the presentiment 
of what was coming, — the preparation for 
any event, — the excitement of the conflict, 
— the sudden bullet-shock, — the fall, — 
rushing memories, — thoughts of dear ones 
at home, of heaven, of sainted spirits already 
there, of Jesus as the Saviour, — thoughts 
of God the Father, and the breathing out 
of the soul into His bosom, — all this, with 
the first openings of eternity, may be imag- 
ined; but nothing of it can be known. 

The remains reached home, under the 
care of Lieut. Sanderson, on the afternoon 
of March 19th ; and the funeral solemnities 
were attended, on the following Saturday, 
at the village church. 

"From every town in this vicinity," says 
our weekly journal, " people came to wit- 
ness the last rites of sepulture to the brave 
young officer. Long before the hour ap- 
pointed, the church was filled to overflowing 



106 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

excepting tlie reserved seats. . . . Rev. Pro- 
fessor Tyler pronounced the discourse, and 
Rev. Professor Seelye offered the funeral 
prayer. . . . The body was inclosed in a 
black casket, which was draped with the 
American flacr, and his sword rested acrainst 
it. Beautiful evergreens and flowers nearly 
covered the coffin, — the tribute of class- 
mates and distant friends. The exercises 
were listened to with breathless silence by 
the large congregation ; and each one seemed 
to feel that they had an interest in the sad 
bereavement." 

The tidings of his death, as they flew over 
the country, not only called forth much sym- 
pathy and mourning, but many testimonials 
of his bravery and moral worth. A few of 
these will be <riven. 

" The battle had raged," says the corre- 
spondent of the New York Tribune, "for 
something less than an hour, when the 21st 
lost one of its noblest officers, in the person 
of Adjutant Frazar A. Stearns, the young 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 107 

man who bore himself so bravely in the 
difficult and dangerous charge on the right 
of the enemy's battery on Roanoke Island. 
Poor Stearns received a bullet in his right 
breast, and fell dead in his place. He was 
the son of the President of Amherst Col- 
lege, and possessed the love of his com- 
manding officer and the whole regiment. 
Lieut. Col. Clark, who is in command of 
the 21st, was affected to tears when relating 
the circumstances of his untimely death, for 
he felt almost the love of a father for the 
young man." 

"It was during this charge," says the 
Amherst Express, "that Adjutant Stearns 
fell. He was near Col. Clark, and received 
a bullet in his right breast. Edward Welch, 
a corporal, immediately went to his assist- 
ance, and raised his head. He called for 
water twice, which Welch administered to 
him from his canteen, and with the words 
" My God ! " upon his lips, breathed forth 
his spirit. Thus died one of the most gal- 



108 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

lant and heroic officers of the 21st, — one 
who had distinguished himself by his bravery 
on ail occasions, — who was universally be- 
loved and esteemed by officers and men, — 
a noble Christian hero and soldier. Col. 
Clark was affiicted to tears, and was almost 
unable to proceed in his charge for the 
moment; but the soldier triumphed over 
the heart, and we doubt not that his feel- 
ings in his successful charge were animated 
somewhat by his bitter sense of loss. Youno- 
Stearns was a professing and practical Chris- 
tian, and entered on his calling from a sense 
of duty, beHeving that in this sphere he 
could do more for his country and his fellow- 
men than in any other. He was beloved in 
college and in the regiment. He was dig- 
nified, kind, and gentlemanly. With no 
inflated ideas of his own importance, he 
nevertheless occupied an important position, 
and so executed his trust as to receive the 
repeated praise of his superior officers. Our 
town has lost one whom they were proud to 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 109 

honor. His family have lost a faithful and 
dutiful son, a loving brother ; the church a 
consistent member, and the army a noble 
oflScer." 

" The most serious loss to our reo-iment," 
says the correspondent of the Boston Tran- 
script, "was that of our Adjutant, F. A. 
Stearns, of Amherst, of whom I can truly 
say, a braver soul, or a more noble-hearted, 
high-minded man, never fell in battle. Just 
budding into manhood, with the flusk of 
youth still on his cheek, he offered his life 
in behalf of his afflicted country, and to-day 
the 21st Regiment of Massachusetts mourns 
the sudden death of one whom they loved, 
not only as an officer, but as a brother." 

" The son of President Stearns, of Am- 
herst," says Rev. Horace James, Chaplain 
of the 25th, in the Boston Congregationalist, 
"a brave, accomplished, and enthusiastic 
officer, fell early in the fight. His sun goes 
down in splendor ; but his regiment and all 
his friends will feel most sadly fis loss." 



110 ADJUTANT STEAKNS. 

The following is from the New York 
Binghamton Democrat : — " Adjutant F. 
A. Stearns, killed at the battle near New- 
bern, North Carolina, was one of the noblest 
offerings on our country's altar which this 
war has called forth. In presenting himself 
for service, he seemed actuated by the tru- 
est patriotism, — the settled conviction that 
this crisis demanded sacrifices, and that he 
was ready to be offei'ed. 

" Lieut. Stearns was prominent in the 
attack on Roanoke Island, and thouoh twice 
wounded, refused to leave his post during 
the whole day, participating in the brilliant 
charge which decided the conflict. For his 
gallantry he received the highest compli- 
ments of his superior officers. At the battle 
of Newbern we find him with his reo-iment, 
leadino; the advance of the flankincr column 
on the enemy's batteries. 

" Thus ever brave men die, — always in 
the advance, courting danger, forgetful of 
self, thinkir^ only of success. How full of 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. Ill 

results was this young hero's life ! — how 
much more was it filled up with usefulness 
and duty than the lives of most who reach 
man's maximum ! There was no affectation 
in his fervid patriotism, no absorbing ambi- 
tion for military renown in his desire to 
meet the foe ; but a quiet determination 
and an iron firmness wonderful in his years. 
He went to the war because he felt it his 
duty, — because he could not stay away, — 
and brought to the service talents of the 
highest order, and a character mellowed and 
controlled by religious culture. He was a 
Christian officer, loving the approval of 
conscience more than the plaudits of men. 
He has gone in the freshness of early man- 
hood ; but his memory will be precious. 
Beside the names of Mlsworth, Wi7ithroj), 
and Hidden^ his own shall stand recorded. 
His death is a national loss, but his example 
a national blessing. His spirit shows the 
worth of liberty, and his silent corpse its 
price." 



112 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

The Newark Daily Advertiser says of 
him : — " Lieut. F. A. Stearns was a young 
man of rare excellence and promise, char- 
acterized by great firmness and energy, a 
dauntless courage which never calculated 
danc^er when a duty was to be performed, 
a high sense of right and unflinching ad- 
herence to its obligations, intellectual en- 
dowments of a superior order, and social 
qualities which won the affection and ad- 
miration of all his associates. He was, 
withal, a truly devoted and exemplary 
Christian." 

The following extract from the sermon 
of Rev. Mr. Murray, of Cambridge, the 
Sabbath after the funeral, is taken from the 
Cambridge Chronicle : — " Adjutant Stearns 
has had a brief career as a soldier; but 
thinking of this, we are only moved to 
say, — ' So short, and yet so glorious ! So 
soon ended, but so well ended ! ' He had 
left academic shades for the tent and the 
bivouac, the teachings of calm philosophy 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 113 

for the stern lessons of war. Those of his 
early mates and school-fellows here, who 
knew him best, testify that there were in 
liis make, and were there conspicuously, 
that higli, generous bearing, that spirited 
and manly tone, which in the soldier are 
fundamental traits, as they are crowning 
ornaments ; not only the pedestal on which 
the military character must stand in col- 
umnar erectness, but the Corinthian capital 
which shall adorn the column. At Roanoke 
his soldierly bearing, his personal valor, his 
service in the field, were so marked as to 
draw attention and commendation from his 
superiors. Struck down by missiles from 
the foe, he sprang to his feet with only a 
more resolute soul and a more gallant bear- 
ing, to lead forward his men into the deadly 
breach. He bore honorable wounds into 
the battle of Newbern, where he fell almost 
within the intrenchments of the enemy. 
No lingering hours of torture were ap- 
pointed him. Death did its work speedily, 



114 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

and spared his friends the agony of knowing 
or fearing that he had undergone long, long 
hours of intolerable, hopeless suffering, un- 
cheered by any voice from home, untended 
by any sister's hand, unwatched by any 
father's eye. And it were better so, if fall 
he must, that he should fall when honor 
crowned that brow most thickly, and when 
death had fewest pangs. 

" I recall to-day, with strange and mourn- 
ful interest, the charge his father gave me, 
when, nearly a year since, I assumed the 
pastorate of this church and society. As 
if urged by some presentiment that himself 
should stand in sore and bitter need of the 
consolations of the Gospel, he charged me 
to bear on my heart, as its peculiar care, 
those households who had parted with sons 
or brothers for the service of their country 
on the field or on the quarter-deck." 

Commemorative resolutions were passed 
by several societies and public bodies with 
whicli he was connected ; but our limits 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 115 

will allow only of a single extract from a 
memorial adopted by the class in college of 
which he died a member : — '' The class- 
mate whose loss we mourn was one whose 
career in life it afforded us peculiar pride 
and interest to trace. As a student, he 
was an eminent scholar, and was distin- 
guished by a strong, practical mind, which 
won for him an extraordinary degree of 
respect and influence in the college com- 
munity. He was characterized by a liber- 
ality of heart, an integrity of purpose, and 
above all, by a pious zeal, which attracted, 
strengthened, and secured the affection of 
the worthy and the esteem of all. On 
leaving the scene of his college distinction, 
he entered the service of his country with 
the most honorable motives and the most 
noble heroism, carrying with him the best 
wishes and the highest liopes of those who 
are now called to lament the death of him 
who was to his college so bright an orna- 
ment, to his country so devoted a soldier. 



116 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

Upon those who were united to liim by the 
strongest bonds of relationship, the severest 
blow has fallen. Though we would not 
invade the sanctuary of domestic grief, nor 
for a moment check the flow of tears, 
made sweet by the valor and virtues of 
the departed, yet we feel that their loss 
is our own, for the angel of death has 
taken from us our most beloved and ad- 
mired member." 

Monday morning, March 24th, 1862, in 
the Senate of Massachusetts, Mr. Dodge, 
of Middlesex, offered the following resolu- 
tions : — 

" Resolved, That the thanks of the people 
of Massachusetts are due, and through the 
Senate and House of Representatives in 
General Court assembled are gratefully ten- 
dered, to the officers and soldiers of the 
21st, 23d, 24th, 25th and 27th Regiments 
of Massachusetts Volunteers, for their he- 
roic deeds at the battle and victory of 
Newbern. In the hands of these men 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 117 

the honor of Massachusetts will always be 
safe. 

''Resolved, That we deplore the irrepar- 
able loss of Lieut. Col. Henry Merritt and 
Adjutant Stearns, and the gallant men, 
their companions in arms, who on the field 
of that victory laid down their lives to 
save the life of the nation. The people 
of Massachusetts will imitate their virtues. 
In all our hearts their memories will ever 
be cherished." 

In support of the resolves, Mr. Dodge 
addressed the Senate as follows: 

" Mr. President, — I can speak from 
personal acquaintance of only one of the 
noble men commemorated by the resolutions 
I have offered. Adjutant F. A. Stearns- was 
for many years a resident of Cambridge. 
At the time of his death he was twenty-one 
years of age, and a member of the Junior 
Class of Amherst College. He was the son 
of the President of that institution. When 
news came of the fall of Fort Sumter, he 



118 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

desired to enter the service of the country, 
"with the volunteers then called for ; but as 
more were offering than could be received, 
the sacrifice seemed to his friends not then 
necessary; and he yielded his wishes to 
theirs, and remained at his studies until the 
disastrous defeat at Bull Run. His resolu- 
tion was then taken. He became, with the 
consent of the friends who had before ob- 
jected, a member of the 21st Regiment. 
The spirit in which he took the sword is 
shown by a remark made by him at the 
time. A friend *said to him : ' You may 
fall in battle, as others have done.' He 
replied : ' If I knew I should fall it would 
not change my determination ; what is my 
life compared with the life of the nation ? ' 
He was with Gen. Burnside at the taking 
of Roanoke Island, and was present and 
assisted in the bayonet charge upon the fort 
which resulted in its capture. He was 
slightly wounded in that battle, and his 
name was mentioned with honorable dis- 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 119 

tinction in the report of his superior officer, 
as Senators will remember. At Newbern 
he fell, while again aiding in a bayonet 
charo;e. 

" He was a man of singular nobility of 
character; noble in daily life, in purpose, and 
in aspiration. He has fallen in the morning 
of life, with all life's highest hopes opening 
before him. Lovino; hearts were waiting' for 
him at his home ; but the doors of that home 
were to open for him again only to receive 
his lifeless remains. Now, as we are speak- 
ing, the last offices of affi2ction are being per-' 
formed. Kindred and friends, with hearts 
wellnigh broken, are following him to the 
grave. May God console them in their great 
sorrow, for no earthly consolation is ade- 
quate ! Mr. President, this war is fearfully 
costly, — costly in treasure ; but how vastly 
more so in the lives of our young men, free- 
ly offered up to sustain it. But it will be 
sustained. The people of these States are 
descended from heroic ancestors ; they have 



120 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

heroic blood in their veins, and are capable 
of heroic deeds. We have heard, all our 
lives, of the spirit of '76 ; but it is surpassed 
by the spirit of '62. ■ The war will be sus- 
tained at whatever cost. If more lives are 
demanded, we may be assured from the past 
they are ready to be offered. Tlie govern- 
ment our fathers left us will be upheld at 
whatever loss of treasure or life is necessary 
for the purpose." 

The following is from the official return 
of Lieut. Col. Clark, who commanded the 
21st in the deadly fight at Newbem, and 
gives a clear and graphic account of the 
battle : — 

"Headquarters, 21st Regiment, Mass. Vols.,"! 
Camp Reno, near Newbern, N. C, J- 
March 16, 1862. J 

" Capt. Edward M. Neil, Ass't Adjt.-General, 2d 
Brigade. Capta^tx : — 

" About nine o'clock on the mornino; of 
the 13th inst., the 21st Massachusetts Volun- 
teers, seven hundred and forty-three strong, 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 121 

landed at the mouth of Slocum's Creek, and 
bj order of Gen. Reno, advanced about two 
miles through the pine woods along the south 
bank of the river Neuse, toward Newbern. 
Coming out upon a large open field, the regi- 
ment stacked arms to await the arrival of the 
General with the rest of the brigade. Com- 
pany G, under Lieut. Taylor, formed the 
advanced guard, and discovered, a short 
distance into the woods beyond the cleared 
space, a large number of wooden barracks, 
which had been evacuated about two hours 
before by rebel cavalry, whose equanimity 
had been disturbed by shells from the o-un- 
boats. An advance of some four miles 
brought the regiment to Croatan, where 
we found a very extensive earthwork run- 
ning at right angles to the highway, one 
thousand rebel infantry having just deserted 
it. The colors of the 21st were placed 
without opposition upon the parapet and 
lieartily cheered by officers and men. Near 
this work a halt of an hour was made for 



122 . ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

dinner, during which the pioneers tore up 
the track of the raih'oad connecting New- 
bern with Beaufort. From this point the 
regiment was ordered to move forward upon 
the raih'oad track, and Company D, under 
Lieut. Barker, was sont forward as advanced 
guard. About a mile of advance brought 
the regiment to a place where the highway 
crosses the railroad, and a half a mile to the 
right of the latter, on the river Neuse, a de- 
serted earthwork was discovered by Lieut. 
Reno, aid-de-camp to the General. Compa- 
ny H, under Capt. Frazer, with the colors, 
was detached from the regiment, and under 
charge of Gen. Reno, visited the work, and 
waving the Star Spangled Banner bearing 
the honorable inscription, " Roanoke, Feb- 
ruary 8, 1862," and the spotless white col- 
ors of Massachusetts, with the noble motto, 
" Ense 2)etit placidam sub Ubertate quietem,^^ 
gave three hearty cheers and hastily rejoined 
the advancing regiment. Proceeding along 
the railroad about a mile further, the ad- 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. • 123 

vancecl guard came upon a building contain- 
ing several tents, a complete set of artillery 
harness, and a few boxes of ammunition for 
six and twelve pounder guns. Lieut. Bar- 
ker, with Adjutant Steams, then made a re- 
connoisance to the right of the railroad and 
found an extensive encampment also recent- 
ly evacuated by rebel cavalry. Here were 
large quantities of clothing, commissary and 
hospital stores, over which a guard was 
placed. One mile further on the regiment 
biouvacked for the night, throwing out a 
picket guard of two companies on the front 
and left, the right being guarded by the 24th 
Massachusetts Volunteers, and the rear by 
tho 61st New York Volunteers. The rain 
which commenced to fall about ten o'clock 
of the 13th inst., continued in showers 
through the night, and on the morning of 
the 14th inst., mist and fog enveloped every- 
thing. Notwithstanding every precaution on 
the part of both officers and men, very many 
of the rifles were rendered quite unserviceable 



124 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

by the moisture. In some tlie powder became 
too wet to ignite, and in very many of the 
Enfield rifled muskets the rammers were 
almost immovable from the swelling of the 
stocks. It is a great defect in this weapon 
that the friction of the wood along the 
whole length of the rammer is relied upon 
to keep it in place ; since it is quite impossi- 
ble that the rammer be well secured when 
the musket is dry, and sufficiently loose for 
service when wet. 

" It is a noteworthy evidence of discipline 
and courage on the part of the men, that 
more than fifty of them went into the bat- 
tle having only their bayonets to work with ; 
and it was very hard to hear them in the 
thickest of the fight, while standing helpless 
in their places, beg their officers to give 
them serviceable muskets, and to see them 
eagerly seize the weapons of their comrades 
as fast as they fell beneath the leaden storm 
from the enemy's earthworks. Private Shee- 
han of Company E, left his company to se- 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 125 

cure the musket of a man whom he saw 
killed in Company K, and when asked by 
Major Rice, why he did not take the gun of 
one who had been shot in his own company, 
replied, that it was like his own, good for 
nothing. About seven o'clock, a.m., Gen. 
Reno ordered his brigade forward, the 21st 
Massachusetts in the van. The advanced 
guard, consisting of Company G, was led 
by Corporal Stratton, who deserves much 
credit for his coolness and intrepidity in 
pushing on through swamps and thickets 
and along the track of the railroad, both 
on the 13th and 14th inst., every moment 
exposed to be fired upon by a concealed foe. 
Adjutant Stearns directed the movements of 
the first two squads of the advanced guard 
in the most admirable manner durino; the 
entire march from the place of landing to 
the field of battle. As it was known that 
the defences of the enemy were thrown 
across the highway to the right of the rail- 
road, the regiment proceeded cautiously 



126 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

through the woods on the left of the rail- 
road and parallel with it. After advancing 
about half a mile, a locomotive was seen 
coming down the road, and Gen. Reno at 
once ordered us to file to the left and ad- 
vance into the forest, which was no longer a 
level, open, pine wood, but the ground was 
broken into hills, separated by deep ravines, 
and the timber was of oak, white-wood, and 
and other decidious trees, and of the largest 
description. The 1st Brigade, under Gen. 
Foster, having advanced on the highway, 
came first upon the enemy ; and the battle 
was now raging fiercely upon our right and 
alonff the whole line of the earthworks from 
the river to the railroad. The smoke from 
the rapid firing of more than thirty cannon 
and several thousand muskets was driven 
down upon us by the wind, and mingling 
with the dense fog, so completely shut out 
the light of day (never more anxiously 
longed for,) that it was impossible to de- 
rive any information respecting the position 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 127 

of the rebels, except where it was indicated 
by the noise of battle. Our skirmishers now 
reported that we were opposite the right 
flank of a battery resting at this point on 
a deep cut in the railroad, and upon several 
buildings and brick walls in Wood's brick- 
yard, which was across the road from our 
position a few hundred yards distant. The 
reo-iment was at once ordered to form in hue 

to 

of battle facing the railroad, and Company 
C, under Capt. J. M. Richardson, was sent 
forward to reconnoitre. As rapidly as the 
difficult nature of the ground would allow, 
^ the other companies formed on the right by 
file into line, and as soon as the remaining 
companies of the right wing were ready, I 
moved forward Avith the colors to the sup- 
port of Company C, who were already en- 
o-aoino- the rebel riflemen in the trench upon 
tlie opposite side of the deep cut in the rail- 
road. At the moment of their arrival at 
the cut, the enemy were busily engaged in 
mounting two thirty-two pounder pivot guns 



128 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

to command the railroad, and in removing 
amnuniition from the cars wliich had just 
come in from Newbern. with reinforcements. 
At the first volley from Company C, the 
enemy in great astonishment fled from the 
road and the trench to a ravine in the rear 
of the brickyard. Gen. Reno now ordered 
the color-bearer, Sergt. Bates, to ])lant his 
flag upon the roof of a building within the 
enemy's entrenchments. He immediately 
rushed forward several rods in advance of 
his company, and amid a perfect shower 
of Minnie balls clambered to the roof and 
waved the Star Spangled Banner presented 
to the regiment by the ladies of Worcester. 
At this moment, the noblest of us all, mv 
brave, efficient, faithful adjutant, 1st Lieut. 
F. A. Stearns, of Company I, fell mortally 
wounded, the first among the twenty-five 
patriotic volunteers of the 21st who laid 
down their lives for their country at the 
battle of Newbern. As he was cheerino; on 
the men to charge upon the enemy across 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 129 

the railroad, he was struck by a ball from 
an Eno-lish rifle fired from a redan at the 
rio"ht and rear of the central breastwork on 
which we were advancing. The fatal mis- 
sile entered his left side, and passing through 
his lungs went out just below the collar- 
bone on the right breast. Corporal Welch, 
of Company C, noticing his fall, returned 
and remained with him durino; the battle. 
He lived about two and a half hours, though 
nearly unconscious from the loss of blood, 
and died without a struggle a little before 
noon. 

" Gen. Reno, with companies C, A, B, 
and H, of the right wing, dashed across the 
railroad up the ste<?p bank and over the rifle 
trench on the top into the brickyard. Here 
we were subject to a most destructive cross 
fire from the enemy on both sides of the 
railroad, and lost a large number of men 
in a very few minutes. The General sup- 
posing we had completely flanked the ene- 
my's works, returned across the road to 
9 



130 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

bring up the rest of his brigade, but just at 
this time a tremendous fire of musketry and 
artillery was opened from the redans hitherto 
unseen and which were thirteen in number, 
extendino; from the railroad more than a 
mile to the right into the forest. The 
General being now obliged to devote his 
attention to the enemy in front of his bri- 
gade, ordered the left wing of the 21st, un- 
der the command of Major Rice, not to cross 
the railroad, but to continue firing upon the 
rebel infantry in the first two redans, with 
whom they were already engaged. These 
consisted of the 33d and 16th North Caro- 
lina regiments, and were the best armed and 
fought the most gallantly of any of the ene- 
my's forces. Their position was almost im- 
pregnable so long as their left flank, resting 
on the railroad, was defended, and they kept 
up an incessant fire for three hours, until 
their ammunition was exhausted and the re- 
mainder of the rebel forces had retreated 
from that portion of their works lying be- 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. iSl 

fcween the river and the railroad. Having 
been ordered into the brickyard and left 
there with my colors and the four compa- 
nies above named, and finding it impossible 
to remain there without being cut to pieces, 
I was compelled either to charge upon Capt. 
Brem's battery of flying artillery, or to re- 
treat without having accomplished anything 
to compensate for the terrible loss sustained 
in reaching this point. Accordingly, I formed 
my handful of men, about two hundred in 
number, in line, the right resting on the 
breastworks of the enemy, and commenced 
firing upon the men and horses of the first 
piece. Three men and two horses having 
fallen and the other gunners showing signs 
of uneasiness, I gave the command ' charge 
bayonets,' and went into the first gun. 
Reaching it, I had the pleasure of mount- 
ing upon the first of the Newbern guns sur- 
rendered to the Yankees. It was a six- 
pounder brass field-piece, manufactured at 
Chicopee, Mass., brought from Fort Ma- 



132 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

con and marked U. S. Leaving this in the 
hands of Capt. Walcott and private John 
Dunn, of Company B, wlio cot away the 
horses and attempted to load and turn it 
upon the enemy, I proceeded to the sec- 
ond gun, about three hundred paces from 
the brickyard. By tliis time the three regi- 
ments of rebel infantry who had retreated 
fi'om the breastworks to a ravine in the rear 
when we entered the brickyard, seeing that 
we were so few and received no support, 
rallied and advanced upon us. The 35th 
and 37th North Carolina regiments, sup- 
ported by the 7th North Carolina, came up 
from the ravine in splendid style, with their 
muskets on their right shoulder, and halted. 
Most fortunately, or rather providentially for 
us, they remained undecided for a minute or 
two, and then I'esolved on a movement which 
saved us from destruction. Instead of giv- 
ing us a volley at once, they first hesitated 
and then charged upon us without firing. I 
instantly commanded my men to spring over 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 133 

the parapet and ditch in front, which Avas 
ten feet wide and five feet deep and half full 
of water, and retreat to the raih'oad, keep- 
ing as close as possible to the ditch. As the 
enemy could not fire upon us to any advan- 
tage until they reached the parapet, nearly 
all of those who obeyed my orders escaped 
unharmed, though thousands of bullets whis- 
tled over us. On the raih'oad I found Col. 
Hodman, with the 4th Rhode Island, waiting 
for orders, and informed him of the situation 
of things in the entrenchments of the enemy 
and urged him to advance at once and 
charge upon their flank, as I had done. 
Soon after, Col. Harland, with tlie 8th Con- 
necticut, came up ; and then the two regi- 
ments advanced along the railroad to the 
brickyard and charged by wing. As soon 
as the enemy saw them within their lines, 
they instantly retired again to the ravine 
without firincr a £!;un. It is some satisfac- 
lion to those wdio were obliojed to retreat 
from the battery after once driving the ene- 



134 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

my from it, that no one of the five brass 
pieces stationed in this part of their works 
were ever fired by them after our charge." 
Col. Clark also writes, — 

"Headquarters, 21st Mass. Volunteers, ^ 
Camp Andrew, near Newbern, N. C., V 
March 23d, 18G2. J 
" President W. A. Stearns, D. D. : — 

" Rev. AND Dear Sir, — Ten days have 
passed since the death of our beloved Frazar, 
and I have had neither time nor heart to 
write you. Yet I have done respecting him 
and his friends just what I would have had 
done for me and mine, if I had been in his 
stead. His noble and manly body was pre- 
pared and packed in the best manner our 
circumstances would allow, and sent by the 
first steamer to Amherst, under the charge 
of his friend and brother officer, Lieut. 
Sanderson. 

" By the last steamer, I sent to the Col- 
lege, in charge of Capt. Frazer, a beauti- 
ful brass cannon, — the identical one upon 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 135 

which I mounted when we drove the rebels 
from their battery with two hmidred men, 
putting three thousand to flight. 

" The following order respecting it was 
issued by Gen. Burnside; — 

'Headquarters, Department of North Carolina, 
'Newbern, March 16th, 1862. 
* Special Order, No. 52. 

' The commanding General directs that 
the six-pounder brass gun taken in the 
battery where Adjutant Stearns, of 
the 21st Massachusetts Volunteers, met his 
death, while gallantly fighting at the battle 
of Newbern, shall be presented to his regi- 
ment, as a monument to the memory of 
a brave man. 

' By command of 

'Brig.-Gen. a. E. Burnside. 

' Lewis Richmond, 
* Assistant Adjutant-General. 
* LiEUT.-CoL. Clark, commanding.* 

" Frazar conducted himself with admi- 
rable prudence and bravery on the fatal 



136 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

day, as lie had on tlie preceding day and 
at Roanoke, tliongh at the latter place he 
was unnecessarily exposed. He never re- 
covered entirely from the excessive fatigue 
and excitement through which he passed at 
Roanoke, and at the time of our landing 
here was scarcely fit to leave the ship. I 
advised him to remain behind, but he would 
not think of it." After speaking of his 
being unwell the night before the battle, 
Col. Clark proceeds : " The next morning 
he seemed quite refreshed, and started out 
resolutely to meet the rebels, who were 
already opening the fight. As he was about 
to go forward with the advance-guard, I 
rode up to him and gave him positive orders 
not to expose himself unnecessarilj^, and not 
to get in front of the second line of skir- 
mishers, so that he might not come within 
gunshot of the enemy until the battle was 
fairly begun. He was shot while passing 
in front of a breastwork, behind which 
were concealed three hundred riflemen. 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 137 

upon the very spot over whicli Gen. Reno 
and myself, with two hundred men, went 
into the central portion of the fortifications. 
There was at this place a perfect storm of 
bullets, as it was the key to the enemy's 
entire works, and they did not like to lose 
it. 

" Ever since the battle of Roanoke Frazar 
has been, up to the time of his death, unusu- 
ally serious, and spoke as if he expected to 
be killed in the next fight. He even went 
so far as to prepare a statement of the duties 
of his office, and gave it to me, sa^^ng : 
'When I am 'dead, this will save you and 
the next adjutant much trouble.' All his 
papers were also arranged with special care, 
and his things packed as for a journey. Of 
course we all hoped better things ; and as he 
had been wounded, and so narrowly escaped 
with his life, on the 8th of February, we 
thought it would be the turn of some other 
officer, before him, to suffer. Alas ! ' Death 
loves a shining mark ! ' and took from us the 



138 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

one most universally and most highly es- 
teemed. 

" He set us an almost perfect example in 
all his conduct. His faithfulness, efficiency, 
and bravery, were only surpassed by. the 
spotless purity and complete correctness of 
his private lifei He never uttered an oath, 
nor a word of a low or indelicate character ; 
he abstained habitually from tobacco in every 
form, and from ardent spirits, wine, and beer. 
In short, he always behaved like a real gen- 
tleman and a sincere Christian. To me the 
loss is quite irreparable. However, I sur- 
rendered myself, my family, my friends, my 
all, to the disposition of the Great Ruler, 
who directs us in all our ways, when I left 
my peaceful and happy home to fight the 
battles of freedom, and I will trust Him to 
the end. 

" And who shall estimate your loss ? But 
your consolations are neither few nor small. 
Your son lived and died a Christian, in the 
full assurance of hope and faith. He fell 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 139 

while fighting gallantly in the act of charg- 
ing upon the enemy, in a most severely con- 
tested battle, and on a field where the Union 
forces won a most glorious victory. . . . 
" With the greatest regard, 

4 4 Very respectfully yours, 

" W. S. Clark." 

In a subsequent letter. Col. Clark says : ^ — 
" Gen. Reno esteemed our beloved Frazar 
as highly as we all did, and more than once 
the tears have rolled down his cheeks as we 
have spoken together concerning his spotless 
character and noble conduct, and remem- 
bered that we should not look upon his like 
again. I send you an official copy of that 
portion of his report relating to Frazar. 
You will recollect that the General is a 
man of few words, and that individuals are 
rarely named in such reports." 

These are the words: — "It is with the 
deepest regret that I have to announce the 
death of 1st Lieut. Stearns, Acting Adju- 
tant of the 21st Massachusetts, — one of 



140 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

the most accomplished and gallant officers 
in the army." 

The extract which follows is from, a letter 
of an Irish private of the 21st, to a country- 
man of his in Amherst, and is the sponta- 
neous outgushing of a large, Irish heart, 
who could have had no expectation that 
such words of his would come under the eye 
of the relatives of his admired officer : — 

" Among the dead is our 1st Lieutenant, 
F. A. Stearns, the noblest soldier that the 
world ever afforded ; I fear too brave for 
his own good. He was beloved by all that 
knew him in his own regiment, and in fact 
as far as he was known in the arm}'. I am 
sorry to say that I have lost the best friend 
that I had in the army. I carried him off 

the battle-field. I tell you, Mr. , that 

that was a hard thing for me. I carried 
him to the beach, to go on board of the boat 
to go home. I carried him over a river, 
where I was up to my arms in water. The 
rest of the boys were strangers; and I tell 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 141 

you that I was not, for when he was Hvmg 
he was a dear friend to me. Lieut. Sander- 
son is gone home with him. Gen. Burnside 
presented the 21st Regiment with a cannon, 
for great valor on the battle-field. We send 
it home, to be erected as a monument over 
Lieut. Stearns, the star of the regiment." 

Another private of the 21st, a stranger, 
— God bless him for his tender thouMitful- 
ness — says : 

" In helping to arrange the body of your 
brave and noble son who fell at Newbern 
on the 14th inst., in order that it might be 
sent home, it occurred to me that a lock 
of his hair would be prized highly by his 
mother^ if by no one else. I, therefore, have 
cut a lock, and in this you will no doubt find 
it. Words cannot express the great esti- 
mation in which your son was held by the 
officers and men of the entire remment. 
We all sympathize with you in your great 
affliction." 

The following is a simple but touching 



142 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

memorial from the pen of a colored boy, 
who had formerly lived with the deceased 
as a servant in his father's family, but was 
at this time servant of the Assistant Surireon 
of the 21st Reo-iment : 

o 

" The death of my brave young master 
has prevented me from gi^'ing you the par- 
ticulars until the present time. I say that 
he was brave, because I know it. 

" After I came out here, a strono; friend- 
ship grew between us, and I came to the 
determination to do everything in my power 
to promote his happiness ; but this resolve 
never did him much good. 

" On the morning of the battle of Ro- 
anoke, I met him in the gangway of the 
boat ; we shook hands. He says, ' Charlie, 
we shall have a hard fight to-day.' I looked 
up in his face ; all I saw Avas a pleasant 
smile. I turned away, thinking he was a 
brave man. In the battle of Roanoke, he 
was wounded. I saw him the next day, and 
asked him how he felt durinor the en- 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 143 

gagement. He said, ' I liacl no time to 

" The morning before the battle of New- 
bern, we walked out on the guard of the 
boat. I said, ' Mr. Frazar, suppose you 
should be killed ? ' He took my hand and 
said, ' Charlie^ I sJiall.^ I could not stand 
this, and turned to go, but I felt the pressure 
grow stronger, and stopped. My throat was 
full of something hard. My eye fell when 
I looked at him, and he let me go. I think 
he had something to say, but he never said 
it to me. . . . When the sad tidino-s came 
to me that he was shot, I took lint, band- 
ages, and wine, &c., and ran to the spot 
where he was, but all was over. A corporal 
of Company C attended him as long as he 
lived. He was conveyed to a shed adjoining 
the hospital. It is useless to tell the many 
attempts I made to restore him to life, but 
all proved fruitless. I closed his eyes, and 
pressed that cold hand to my lips. I can 
say no more; but I send you this to let 



144 ADJUTANT STEAKNS. 

you know that liis old servant closed his 
eyes. 

'' P. S. I send his Testament, that his 
father gave him, hy this mail." 

Capt. J. D. Fraser, who came to Amherst 
with the hrass gun given by Gen. Burnside 
to the regiment of Adjt. Stearns as " a monu- 
ment to his memory," and who saw the body 
soon after the battle, said, " I never saw such 
a beautiful countenance on a person who was 
dead before. As I looked upon him, I told 
Col. Clark that I should have been willing 
to have died in his stead." 

Rev. George S. Ball, the Chaplain of the 
21st, writes : 

" He died, let me say, as he had lived, 
without a stain on his honor. 

" There was not a religious service which 
he did not encourage. When I distributed 
among the men religious books, he always 
received them gladly, and often spoke of 
them afterwards, showing that he not only 
took them but read them. 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 145 

" In speaking of his wonderful escape at 
Roanoke, said he, ' If it had been God's will 
that the ball had gone nearer my brain, I 
should not have rebelled^ for I believe in 
Providence.' 

" His life was an example to all, officers 
and men. He was not angry ever, though 
sometimes exceedingly tried. He never ut- 
tered a profane word. His language was 
gentlemanly to all, and his bearing full of 
the dignity of a soldier and the affability of a 
comrade and brother. 

" Our greatest loss in the battle at New- 
bern is that of your son. He had the fresh- 
ness and ardor of youth, with all the courage 
of a veteran. The whole regiment mourn a 
brave officer lost, a loved brother dead. But 
his memory will be kept green in the hearts 
of us all." 

Among numerous letters of sympathy, 

several have been received from strangers 

who became acquainted with him while he 

was engaged on picket duty in Maryland, 

10 



146 • ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

all bearing witness to the excellence of his 
character, " so moral and dignified in his de- 
portment, so energetic and faithful in dis- 
charging his duties ; " " the uprightness of 
his life, and the goodness of his heart, and 
his frank, gentlemanly bearing, won the best 
wishes of all who knew him ; " " whose 
memory will be ever held sacred and whose 
loss mourned as a brother;" "who was a 
gentleman, a Christian, and a soldier;" "for 
whose safety," a little girl " of only four 
years scarcely suffered a night to pass with- 
out offering up her prayers ; " and whose 
" death drew tears from many eyes." One 
gentleman writes : " I cannot say that I was 
not fearful of what has taken place. Your 
son was brave, and, as I often heard him say, 
was willing to die in defence of his country. 
I felt satisfied he would be foremost in de- 
fence of that flacr he loved so much." 

" I am reminded," he continues, " of the 
most feeling and appropriate speech made by 
him on the nio-ht of his initiation in our 



ADJUTANT STEAPwNS. 147 

division of the Sons of Temperance. He 
alluded to his friends at home, to the relig- 
ious training he had received at your hands, 
and the great temptations to which he was 
subjected in the army ; he said that he had 
united with us as a protection from the pre- 
vailing vice around him ; that, exposed to 
danger, and liable at any moment to be 
called to appear before his Maker, he had 
committed his soul into his keeping and 
had put his trust in God. He exhorted the 
young men to avoid every wicked practice, 
especially gambling and taking the Lord's 
name in vain. He made a request that if 
any of us should ever visit the place of his 
home, whether he should live to be there or 
not, we would call at his father's house and 
tell him that we were his friends, and a cor- 
dial welcome would be extended to us." 

" My only object in addressing you," he 
concludes, " is to express my admiration of 
the character of your son, and our sincere 
sorrow and sympathy." 



148 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

After what has been said, any extended 
analysis of character will be unnecessary. 
" That character," says Professor Tyler, 
" shone in every feature of his tall, erect, 
and manly form. It acted itself out without 
disguise or concealment, in all the incidents 
of his short but noble and heroic life. It 
breathes in gentle yet lofty tones from his 
confidential letters to his friends. It speaks 
louder than words, more touching and elo- 
quent than actions from his early death, a 
willing sacrifice on the altar of his country." 

There was, it may be added, a marked 
variety in the leading characteristics of 
his mind and heart. Mechanical tastes 
and ingenuity, an enthusiastic fondness for 
the natural sciences, a love of the math- 
ematics, but chiefly for their useful ap- 
plications, might seem to designate him as 
an eminently practical man. The ardor, 
too, with which he studied the arts and 
science of war, the hiiih ideals which 
he had of military drill and discipline, 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 149 

and tlie zeal and patient labor wliicli he 
brought to the work of securing sol- 
dierly proficiency, in himself and others, 
would indicate more of an outward than 
an inward life. But in contrast with this 
there was, in his nature, a deep well of 
emotions and affections. This may be 
partly illustrated in his love and practice 
of music. He was susceptible to its power 
as early as he could distinguish sounds. 
When not more than four years old he 
would i)ick out the notes of simple tunes, 
on the piano, with delight. Before he was 
six, an accomplished German teacher, who 
had noticed his musical susceptibilities and 
aptitudes, begged the privilege of giving 
him gratuitous instruction, saying often, 
perhaps, with the hyperbole of favoritism, 
' that child has more musical talent than I 
have yet found in any person in America.' 
Under such zealous instruction, continued 
at intervals, for years, he added proficiency 
to talent, and would touch the piano with 



150 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

an emphasis, patlios, and power which not 
only moved the less cultured, but attracted 
the admiration of amateurs. Thouoh he 
had been subjected to the drill of exercises, 
and had his favorite pieces, he generally 
preferred, "whether in social circles or in 
private, to improvise his music. When the 
inspiration was upon him, he would express 
in subdued or stirring chords, the mood of 
the hour. One might learn from the sweet, 
sad sounds of his piano, or its semitonic in- 
tervals, or from its jubilant notes, or its slow 
and solemn measures, the otherwise hidden 
emotions of his heart. Poetry, too, and 
passages of eloquent oratory, and works of 
art, gave him superior pleasure. 

His temperament was sanguine, his feel- 
ings quick and strong, though he had un- 
common mastery over them. He was im- 
pulsive, not to say changeable, till he had 
become settled in his convictions and fixed 
in his determinations, after which, as in his 
patriotism, and his religion during the last 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 151 

year or two of his life, he was immovable. 
He had a remarkable conscience, both in 
foretokenino; wrono; and aveno-ino; it when 
committed. This, in his strong nature, laid 
the foundation for severe inward conflicts 
till the grace of God had secured him final 
victory. Sensitive to the slightest imputa- 
tion of self-approval, rarely alluding to good 
qualities in himself even among confidants, 
he was severe upon his own faults, often 
magnifying them and always condemning 
them without mercy. Still he was proud, 
self-respecting, and aspiring. Quick in his 
resentments, strong in his prejudices, frank 
anti outspoken, he was equally ready to ac- 
knowledge a wrong when convinced of it, 
and to formve a wrono; when it was con- 
fessed. The la.st year of his life was char- 
acterized by a large charity for all sins but 
treachery and meanness. It was from a 
hearty sympathy that he admired and often 
called attention to that beautiful passage in 
the story of Le Fevre, where Uncle Toby, 
out of the tenderness of his heart, was sur- 



152 ADJUTANT STEAKNS. 

prised into tlie use of a liard word, — " Tlie 
accusing spirit which flew up to Heaven's 
chancery with the oatli bhished as he gave 
it in, and the Recordintj An<iel as lie wrote 
it down dro[)ped a tear on the word and 
blotted it out forever." 

The generosity of his heart was always 
greater than his ability to meet its demands. 
One of the last things which he said to his 
father on leaving home, after a few days' 
furlough in November, which had been 
granted for attending the remains of a 
brother officer to their last resting place, 
was, " I shall now be ccettino; a ^rood salarv, 
and I am determined when I ixo back to 
economize as closely as I can in my ex- 
penses, and educate the two little boys 

Lieutenant 's death has left orphans. 

Acts have come recently to light which 
show that to bless the poor was one of 
the habits and luxuries of his life. A very 
intimate associate of his says, he used to 
have more plans for doing good, in such 
ways, than any man I ever knew. 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 153 

Naturally reserved except among a few 
chosen intimates, and not particularly trans- 
parent in his character to ordinary observ- 
ers, his truthfulness could never be called 
in question. So many fathers say this that 
the world look upon it as a commonplace, 
and smile at parental incredulity. But per- 
haps the suspecting may believe that a high 
degree of veracity marked his life, when it 
is asserted that while he knew how to keep 
a secret as well as any other man, no mem- 
ber of his father's family can recollect an 
instance in which he was ever even sus- 
pected of a falsehood. 

Every one gave him the credit of a 
strong desire to do right, however much 
he might fail, in practice. Writing to a 
sister asking his advice, he says, " Do just 
exactly what your conscience tells you is 
right. There is only one right and one 
wrong to anything ; and you must decide 
it for yourself, by the help of God. We 
cannot be too careful in these matters about 
doing right. Every wrong makes it all the 



154 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

harder to do right next time. Do, then, 
just what your conscience tells you is right, 
and that will be approved by us.'' 

The most prominent trait of his char- 
acter has been supposed to be courage. If 
this be so, it was moral couraoje rather than 
natural ; not the courage of brute violence, 
not the courage of indifference to danger, 
but the courage of ])rinciple and ^cill. He 
once said, *' I hardly know whether I have 
courao-e or not. I cannot o-o into danger 
without excitement, though I never shrink 
from it. I once read of a soldier, who, 
pale and trembling as he marched firmly 
on right up to the cannon's mouth, was 
pointed out to Napoleon for his timidity. 
' Not so,' said the Emperor, * he is a brave 
fellow : he both knows his danger and does 
his duty.' If anything like that is courage, 
I have it." Is it not, indeed, the highest 
form of courage ? Such a person is a reso- 
lute soldier rather than a blindly daring one. 
When the young Adjutant went to his last 
battle, he seems to have expected death, but 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 155 

did not flinch. Had that suspicion been 
changed into a certainty, it would probably 
have made no difference with him. He 
would freely have laid down his life on the 
altar of his country, and as he did, would 
have died for it. 

This is courage ; and Professor Tyler 
says justly, while " all admired his courtesy, 
kindness, and magnanimity, perhaps noth- 
ing was so entirely characteristic of his 
noble nature as courao;e and a hio;h sense 
of honor. Few persons of his age have 
ever won a better title to the description of 
the chevalier, who was known as the knight 
without fear and without reproach." 

It is not necessary to say much more of 
his religious spirit. Deep and powerful, 
thoucrh for a lono; time militant, in what 
might seem to the inexperienced a doubt- 
ful struggle, when it came to predominate 
in his character, it gave it strength and 
balance. It enlarged his life and gave 
breadth to his views. It inspired him with 
a heavenly charity, for learning his own 



156 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

weaknesses, he knew how to pity those of 
others. It was the inspiration of his patri- 
otism, the enthusiasm of his soldiership, his 
courage in the day of battle. It made him 
faithful in his duties as an officer, and gave 
him a fraternal interest in all the privates of 
the regiment, and especially of the men un- 
der his care. 

The New Testament was the daily com- 
panion of his life in camp; and .the little 
pocket edition of it, new when he left 
home, now thoroughly worn by use, bears 
testimony how often and earnestly he pe- 
rused it. And its precious promises doubt- 
less cheered him when he breathed out his 
spirit, and began to be realized by him 
when that spirit entered on its eternity. 

In concluding this notice, the Massachu- 
setts 21st will bear with a stricken father, 
in saying a word in his own person more 
directly to them. I visited Annapolis on 
the first day of the opening year. It 
was at the suggestion of my child, who 
wrote to me, " Father, you know the 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 157 

chances of war." I saw you all once and 
again, on parade, and admired your pro- 
ficiency. I also saw much of your young 
officer, who was so soon to fall. He seemed 
to care little for himself, but took the deep- 
est interest in you. He had just declined 
the honorable position of aid-de-camp that 
he might " stick by the men." I saw him 
last on the 6th of January, the day you 
went on board The Northerner. As he 
marched that morning up and down the 
whole lencrth of the remment, his beardless 
cheeks 2;lowino; in the keen mornina; air, 
you will not wonder that he should seem to 
the eye of parental pride, as he did to oth- 
ers, a truly accomplished and noble officer. 
When you were drawn up on the wharf, 
just before your departure, having been in- 
troduced to you by Lieut. Col. Maggi, in 
his interesting Italian way, as '' The Papa 
of our Adjutant," it was my privilege to of- 
fer a prayer with you to the God of armies 
and of battles. Since that day I have often 
heard of your good conduct and your bra- 



158 ADJUTANT STEARNS. 

very ; and have felt personally honored in 
your praises. I liad hoped that my boy 
might be spared ; but I gave him up to 
God and his country when he left my 
house. He fell doing his duty as a Chris- 
tian soldier, and I am satisfied. It is said, 
that after the battle of Newbern, as soon 
as the smoke had cleared away, and the 
roar of the cannon had ^ceased, and silence 
had taken the place of excitement and con- 
fusion, a beautiful bird rose and hovered 
over your camp, and sang in a strain of 
the sweetest melody. Thus calmly rise the 
spirits of Christian soldiers from the awful 
din of the battle-field, singing with a clearer, 
more joyous, and more entrancing note, as 
they ascend to heaven. And why should 
not fi'iends be satisfied, when their fallen 
sons and brothers have died trustinor in 
God and doing their duty ? 

To your gallant Commander, my large- 
hearted friend and almost brother, Lieut, 
Col. Clark ; to the soldier who kindly min- 
istered to the necessities of my dying child ; 



ADJUTANT STEARNS. 159 

to another who bore his dead body away, in 
his strong arms, with many tears ; to an- 
other who took a precious lock from his 
head and sent it home in tender tlioiight- 
fulness of his mother ; to another who gath- 
ered a wreath of wild-flowers and placed 
them on his pulseless breast ; to the colored 
young man who closed the eyes of his old 
master after he had tried every art to bring 
him back to life ; to all who performed kind 
offices for him while still living, and after he 
was dead ; to the regiment whom he loved 
so sincerely, and who seem to have loved 
him in return, — I take this opportunity to 
express my grateful and hearty thanks. God 
bless them, and reward them a thousand-fold. 
Soldiers of the 21st, your young officer 
died honorably. His character attracted ad- 
miration. That character was matured and 
formed by the religion of the New Testa- 
ment. The Gospel sanctified its virtues, 
and gave it breadth, power, and beauty. 
He was indebted to it for much of his 
bravery, faithfulness, generous interest in 



160 ADJUTANT STEARXS. 

others, and his cheerful readiness for self- 
sacrifice. The gospel not only affords soft 
pillows for dying heads, but has a strength 
for living men which is above all other 
streno-th. It is also full of motives and 
inspirations to noble deeds. If my child 
could speak out to you from the silence 
of eternity, I have no doubt that he would 
ask you to stiidf/ it. There is nothing which 
he used to lament so deeply as the profane- 
ness which is common in our cam[)s. God 
is good and merciful, but He is great and 
awful, and will not '* hold us guiltless, if 
we take His name in vain." There are 
laro-e numbers of the bravest officers and 
men in our armies who get along without 
swearing. Why should not the 21st banish 
it from among them ? As for myself, I shall 
never forget your noble regiment, nor the 
hundreds of thousands of patriotic soldiers 
who are fighting our battles for us, so long as 
I remember the name of Frazar Augustus 
Stearns. 

THE END. 



